


Best Friends

by JrBenson



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/F, Family, Femslash, Other Female Character - Freeform, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2018-08-23 06:20:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8317144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JrBenson/pseuds/JrBenson
Summary: Olivia and Kekoa have been the best of friends for over 20 years. Kekoa has been in love with Olivia for that long. Olivia loves Kekoa as a friend...right?





	1. Secret Love

**Author's Note:**

> Here is a rough translation to what some of the names/words mean. They're Hawaiian - although I'm not. I apologize in advance for any mistakes. You can learn about how names are given in the Hawaiian culture. It's very interesting stuff. I hope I get it right. Correct me if I'm wrong or if you find any errors.
> 
> Kekoa (keh koh' (w)ah) - Hawaiian – "brave, courageous"
> 
> Makana - Hawaiian - (Gift)
> 
> Mana'olanakeiki (ma NA oh LA na KEH-EE kee): Hawaiian – "child of hope"
> 
> Ko'u-aloha — "My love"
> 
> Makamae (mah-kah-mae) – "Precious/Cherished"
> 
> Keiki: child

"Ok, that was the last one. I've gotta go. Kathy will kill me…" Elliot said as he drowned the last of his beer. Liv looked up at him with sad eyes but she had a smile on her face.

"Aw, come one El. I just broke up with Kurt. You're supposed to help me pick up the pieces of my broken heart." She said it in a way that had Elliot pausing for a moment. He didn't get a chance to reply when a welcomed stranger slid in next to Olivia.

"Well, if it isn't Rocky and Bullwinkle." The stranger gave a smile and a nod to Elliot who returned the gesture. She then turned to Olivia and winked. Liv chuckled and turned back to her beer.

"Hey Sparky! How's it hanging?" Elliot said a little too loudly. The room quieted for a split second then resumed its normal nosy chatter.

"You know what? You're an ass Stabler!" the stranger said as she laughed. She turned to Olivia and gave her a quick squeeze. "How are you doing?" She asked gently. Elliot had filled her in on what happened as she drove to the bar.

Olivia shrugged and took a swig of her beer. She waved over to the bartender who came strolling over. She looked at her friend and asked, "Want one?" The stranger nodded and she watched as the bartender went to get their drinks.

"Ok ladies, I've really got to go. Kath is pissed at me…" Elliot grabbed his coat and gave his partner's shoulder a gentle squeeze. He then gave his friend a slap on the back and a wink.

"Good luck," Elliot playfully said as he jerked his head in Olivia's direction. Both women laughed and watched him leave.

Liv turned back to the bar and took a long sip of her beer.

"How many have you had already?"

"Not enough…" Liv said roughly. She was about to take another sip when her friend placed a gentle hand on top of hers.

"Why don't you call it a day…" she suggested quietly.

"And why don't you stick with being an arrogant SWAT team leader or whatever the hell you call yourselves," Liv retorted roughly. She brushed off her friend's hand and placed the beer to her lips. Her friend sat quietly and took a swig of her beer.

Olivia closed her eyes as she pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Kekoa…I'm sorry. I didn't mean that…"

Nodding, Kekoa remained quiet. They sat and watched the small TV set located by the bar. They had finished their beers and neither was anxious to go home.

"Come on…let's take a walk…" Kekoa had already slipped off of the stool and was holding out a hand to Olivia. She had no other choice but to take the offered hand. She slipped off her stool and grabbed her jacket and followed Keko out.

"PUT IT ON MY TAB!" Kekoa hollered to the big bartender. He nodded and continued to dole out drinks to his customers.

Outside, it had gotten a bit cool. Keko did up her jacket and climbed the short steps. She turned in time to see Olivia lose her footing on the top step. Quickly reaching out, Kekoa caught Olivia before she could do serious damage.

They both were out of breath and their faces were inches apart. Keko's hands held Olivia's waist and Liv's were on Kekoa's shoulders.

"Are you alright?" Kekoa asked softly. Olivia nodded slowly then felt her self being gently placed on the ground.

They stood quietly; Kekoa still had her hands on Liv's waist. Olivia rested her head against Kekoa's chest.

"You ok?" Kekoa asked as she rested her chin on top of Olivia's head. She felt her nod then inhaled loudly. Olivia stepped back and Keko reluctantly let her go.

"Come on Makamae. Let's get you home…" Kekoa wrapped an arm around Olivia's shoulder as Liv slipped her own arm around her friend's waist.

"You know, after all these years of you calling me that, I still don't know what that means." Liv said as they walked.

 _Uh-oh…_ "Uh…I'm not sure…" Kekoa hesitated. Olivia raised her head and gave her a look.

"You're not sure? That makes me feel _so_ much better…" Liv said with a hint of a smile.

"Well, I heard my grandmother use it. She used to call me that so I'm not exactly sure what it means…" It wasn't the complete truth. Yes, her grandmother used to call her that when she was a kid, but she _did_ know its meaning.

"Ah…that explains it." They continued to walk in comfortable silence. They looked like the perfect gay couple but in reality, Olivia had a thing for the guys…preferably reporters. And Kekoa had a thing for…well, Olivia.

It was such an old cliché – straight girl has lesbian best friend. Lesbian friend falls madly in love with straight girl. Friendship is then blown to bits.

Kekoa, wasn't going to let that happen. There is no way in this millennium that Olivia was ever going to find out how she really feels about her. Their friendship means too much to let that happen. _Olivia_ means too much.

"You're quiet." Kekoa looks down at the upturned face of her friend and smiles. She enjoyed these quiet moments with Olivia. They were rare these days, both jobs taking a chunk out of that precious time.

"I could say the same about you…" she said gently. They were a few blocks away from Olivia's apartment. Liv felt a bit disappointed that they were nearing her place.

"So…who is this Kurt guy anyways?" Kekoa knew that Olivia was seeing some guy and from what Elliot had told her, he was of course, a reporter.

"Oh…uh…he was…just a guy…" Olivia said softly. Something about the way she had said it made Kekoa stop and look at Liv, concern etched on her face.

"He didn't hurt you did he?" Olivia looked up into soft hazel eyes. She saw fury there and it warmed her to know that she didn't always have to be the protector, the strong one.

Reaching out, Olivia rested a soft hand against Kekoa's cheek. "No. He didn't. He was an absolute gentleman…" Liv smiled sadly. He _was_ perfect…but something was missing between the two of them. A spark…or whatever it is you feel for someone.

"And that's a problem because?" Kekoa playfully winced as Olivia swatted her arm.

Olivia shrugged. "Guess he wasn't the 'right one'…" _I doubt I'll find 'the one'_ Liv thought. Her line of work seemed to bring out all the creeps and freaks in New York and she didn't think there was a decent human being left out there. Except for the guys she worked with.

But there was always Kekoa. She and Olivia had met when the two were in their freshman year of high school. Since then the two have been inseparable. They knew each other inside and out without saying a word. They were a perfect fit…as _friends_.

"How can you know if the guy is the 'right one' if you don't give 'em half a chance? Seriously, how long have you two been dating? A week…a day?"

Olivia wasn't sure if she should say. Normally, Kekoa would have been the first person she would have told about Kurt. But this time around, she kept it quiet. Even from Elliot.

"Liv?" Kekoa was eyeing her suspiciously.

Sighing, Olivia new she had to face it one way or the other. She played with the collar of Keko's jacket. "A few months …" she said quietly.

Kekoa had grown quiet. She'd turned away and stared at nothing in particular. Olivia closed her eyes at the hurt she saw flash in Kekoa's eyes.

"I'm sorry," she heard Olivia say. Shaking her head Kekoa shrugged off the apology.

"It's ok…it's not like we're married or anything," she resumed walking and left Olivia to catch up.

"Kekoa…I'm sorry…please wait…" Olivia begged. Kekoa stopped but didn't turn round. Liv placed a gentle hand on Kekoa's arm and turned her around. She winced as she saw the sadness in her friends face.

"It's ok Liv…let's just go home, ok?" Kekoa said roughly. They shared everything with each other – the highs and lows of work, relationships and life in general. It was how they'd done things as teenagers.

But Kekoa understood that there'd be a time in their lives that Olivia won't want to share a part of her life with her anymore. It was selfish, Keko knew, but if she couldn't be with Olivia the way she truly wanted to be, then this was as close as she got. She didn't want it to end. Or change.

Olivia didn't have a choice; she followed silently as they made their way to Liv's apartment. They were quiet as they walked, each in there own world.

"I didn't feel right about Kurt and me," Olivia blurted out. It was there all along but Liv didn't want to see it. She'd push it out of her mind until it couldn't be ignored anymore.

Startled by her admission, Kekoa stopped and stared at Liv. She patiently waited for her friend to elaborate.

Sighing, Olivia threw her hands up in frustration. "I don't know why. He was perfect…he wasn't like the others…" Olivia closed her eyes. She was getting a headache.

"So what was the problem?" Kekoa wanted to understand Liv.

"It felt wrong…I'd get this feeling as if I were cheating."

"Cheating? On who? He wasn't married, was he?" Kekoa was more confused then ever.

Running a hand through her long hair, Liv tried desperately to find the right words to say.

"He wasn't married. I checked..."

"And?"

"Honestly, I don't know why. All I know is that whenever I was with him and when we made…" Olivia paused. She knew it made Keko squeamish when she spoke about her sex life.

Rolling her eyes, she motioned for Olivia to continue. "Moving along, _please_ …"

Smiling briefly, Olivia took a breath. "I just felt like I was…the other woman. I don't know how to explain it…"

Nodding, Keko understood…a bit. "Are you sure he wasn't married? Another girlfriend?"

Shaking her head, Olivia knew Kurt wasn't like that.

"Then maybe you're right. He wasn't the one you're supposed to be with." Kekoa offered a lame excuse.

Olivia knew what she was doing and smiled. "Thanks. Sorta makes me feel a little better…"

"Maybe next time, huh?" Keko smiled. She opened her arms for a hug. Olivia was happy to comply. Keko turned her head and kissed Liv on the cheek then stepped out of the embrace.

"Goodnight Makamae," Kekoa smiled as she watched Olivia open the door to her building. Olivia turned and smiled softly.

"Goodnight Kekoa." As she slipped inside she gave one more glance at her friend. Keko held a hand to her ear and mouthed ' _call me'_. Liv nodded and headed up to her apartment.

Once in her apartment, Liv made sure everything was in place. It was an old habit that was hard to break. When she was done, she fell on the couch and picked up the phone.

Kekoa answered on the second ring.

"Getting sloppy Officer Makana…" Liv said with a smile.

" _That's Sergeant Makana to you, smartass!"_ Kekoa said with a smile. After saying there good byes, Olivia shut the phone off and placed it on the coffee table.

She sat there thinking about why it hadn't worked out with any of the men she had dated in the past.

 _You gotta stop dating reporters for a start._ Olivia smiled as Keko's words rang in her head. Good or bad, Kekoa was there to celebrate with her or lend a shoulder to cry on. She couldn't have made it through the toughest parts of her life with out her best friend.

When they first met, Olivia was wary of her beach loving friend. Kekoa was always relaxed…chilled. She had the loudest family on this planet. _Well that's what you get for mixing a Scottish woman with a Hawaiian man. You get pure chaos…_ Liv thought with a smile. And they all were so very close and still are to this day.

Kekoa was the only person on this earth that knew what it was really like living with Serena Benson. Kekoa, just as her name implied, was a brave warrior standing up against Serena's drunken binges.

Although Olivia was embarrassed that Kekoa had to witness that first hand, she was also grateful for Kekoa's protective presence. There were times when Olivia would run away from home in the middle of the night after her mother's drunken tirades, to find solace in Kekoa's warm bed room.

She would climb up the huge tree right outside of Kekoa's room and her friend would quickly let her in. Kekoa would hold her all night as she slept keeping out the dangers that lurked everywhere. And every morning, Liv would quietly sneak back out so her friend wouldn't get into trouble.

She was sure, now that she thought about it, that Keko's parents knew. They trusted Kekoa enough to let her handle it though. They trusted their daughter enough to let her come to them if it got too much to handle.

After one particular night fighting with her mother, Olivia remembered shoving her mother away from her. Liv wanted to hurt her mother like she had hurt Olivia. She had been so frightened that she ran as fast as she could to Kekoa's. It was pouring rain that night but Olivia hadn't noticed.

She just needed to feel Kekoa's arms around her. As she climbed into the room, Kekoa gently wrapped her arms around her and held her shivering body close and let her cry. She didn't judge Liv for what she had done. She just held on to her and soothed away her fears.

Kekoa went to get dry cloths for Liv and quickly turned away as Olivia stripped down. Liv always found it cute and endearing, when Keko did the whole chivalry thing with her. Made her feel cherished in away no one could ever make her feel.

They had climbed into bed and cuddled through out the night. Olivia had been so exhausted both emotionally and physically that she didn't wake up in time to sneak out. Kekoa had woken up and quietly let her sleep in. She made her way quietly downstairs to have some breakfast and to take some up to Olivia.

When she got to the kitchen she found her parents standing there. And neither was too happy with there daughter. Her mother had been leaning against the kitchen counter drinking her orange juice while her dad was sitting at the table reading the Saturday morning paper.

" _Good morning Keiki, did you sleep well?" Her father asked without looking up from his paper. He was a big man but he was a gentle soul. Kekoa's parents always knew what was going on in their children's lives without having to pry. They were the kind of parents you'd want to have if things weren't going right._

_Kekoa fidgeted with the hem of her t-shirt. "Uh…yeah…"_

" _Did Olivia sleep well, Keiki?" Her mother asked. Kekoa swallowed hard and turned a bright red._

" _Uh…I…um…"_

" _We've known she's been sneaking into your room lately…"_

" _Kinda figured you knew…" Kekoa said dejectedly._

" _So why haven't you told us, Keiki?" Her father asked a bit disappointed in his daughter._

" _I made her promise not to…" All heads snapped around. Olivia was standing in the doorway of the kitchen wearing her damp clothing from last night. She was slightly shivering._

_Kekoa's mother quickly went to her. "Sweetie! You're soaking wet. Come now, let's get you into something dry and warm…" She ushered Olivia back upstairs to change. Kekoa's father sighed and folded up his paper. He glanced at his youngest daughter and motioned for her to sit down._

" _So…exactly how long has this been going on?" He asked gently. He and his wife knew of their daughter's preference and they were fine with it. But they were worried that she and Olivia were spending too much time together._

_It wasn't that they didn't like Olivia; they treated her as if she were their own. They knew of their daughter's crush and were afraid that if Olivia found out or if their friendship ended, it would destroy Kekoa._

_Kekoa lowered her head. She didn't want to say, she knew she should but she just didn't want to._

" _Kekoa…" her father said warningly. Sighing, Keko closed her eyes._

" _Almost a year…" she said quietly. Her father was silent. She hated when her father got quiet like that. "I'm sorry dad…"_

" _I'm disappointed in you Keko. Why didn't you just come to us? We would have taken her in regardless."_

_Kekoa just shrugged. In all honesty, she wasn't 100 percent certain her parents would have said yes._

" _I know dad. But I promised her I wouldn't say anything…"_

_Her father nodded. "We taught you to honor your promises. But not at the expense of yours or another's safety."_

" _I know…" Kekoa said weakly_

" _Kekoa, What if something happened to her on her way here? She's running out on the streets at night…"_

_Kekoa winced at the thought of something bad happening to Olivia. "I get it dad…I promise it won't happen again…"_

" _It better not. Your mother and I have been talking…"_

_Kekoa groaned. She didn't like the sound of that. Apparently neither did her father because he gave his youngest daughter a stern look._

" _You mother and I have been talking and we've come to a decision. From this point on, if Olivia wants to stay here, then we pick her up from her place and driver here. No more sneaking in and out of this house._

" _I never allowed it with you or your brother's and sisters and I will not allow it from Olivia. Is that clear young lady?"_

_Nodding, Kekoa listened intently to what her father was saying._

" _I don't know the reasons she thinks she has to run away from home in the middle of the night or why she has to sneak in and out of here, but she has and always will be welcomed here."_

_Relief flooded Kekoa's entire body. "Go on…go tell Liv. Both of you come back down here and have breakfast." Kekoa jumped up and hugged her father tight._

" _Love you daddy," she kissed the top of his head and took off for the stairs. He just laughed and shook his head in amusement._

_Meanwhile, Kekoa's mother and Olivia were in Kekoa's room._

" _Honey, can I ask you a question?" Mrs. Makana asked softly. She had always been fond of Olivia ever since her daughter brought her home 3 years ago._

" _Uh…sure…" Liv said slowly. She knew what was coming._

" _I know that it's none of my business, but I do consider you one of my own. So to see you running in the middle of the night…it just terrifies me…"_

" _You want to know why I have to run, don't you."_

" _You don't have to answer, sweetie. I just want you to know that whatever it is, you can always come to us…for anything." She engulfed Olivia in a hug. Olivia shut her eyes tight to stop the tears that wanted to fall._

" _I'm sorry for getting your daughter into trouble…this was the only safe place I could go to…" Liv said softly. Pulling back, Mrs. Makana examined Olivia closely._

" _Are you in any kind of danger?"_

_Olivia hung her head in shame. "My…my mom drinks…a lot. She…she says things that hurt. And last night…we…we got in a fight…" tears fell of their own accord. Mrs. Makana held onto Olivia as she cried._

" _It's alright sweetie. It's going to be alright…"_

" _I…I…pushed my mom against a wall…she was coming at me with a broken bottle…" Olivia cried harder. She never knew she could be so violent towards her mother. And it terrified her. Her mother told her so many times that she was like her father. Olivia hated the fact that she was being compared to a rapist; it crippled her when her mother spat those words out._

_Mrs. Makana closed her eyes. She couldn't imagine the kind of hell Olivia had to live with. She squeezed Olivia and spoke softly._

" _Olivia, you need to listen to me carefully. Ok?" She felt Olivia nod. "Although I don't agree with the course of action you took, I can understand why you felt the need to protect yourself._

" _Mr. Makana and I have decided that you should stay here with us. It's safer and you won't need to be running out at night…"_

" _I can't! Mrs. Makana, thank you, but I can't…" Olivia stammered. She would love nothing more then to stay here forever. But she knew the kind of hell her mother would put this family through._

" _Shhh…ok, sweetie. Ok. Then how about we pick you up every night and bring you here. But I don't want you out at night. No more sneaking in and out of here…"_

" _What about my mom?"_

" _Don't you worry about that, honey. We'll take care of that."_

" _MOM!"_

_Rolling her eyes, Mrs. Makana just shook her head. Olivia giggled._

" _Keiki, how many times do I have to tell you, no yelling!"_

_Kekoa was out of breath but smiling. Ignoring her mother, Kekoa looked at Olivia and smiled gently._

" _You can stay here at night if you want…"_

_Olivia looked from Mrs. Makana to Kekoa then smiled. "I know…"_

Olivia smiled at the memory. Although Mr. and Mrs. Makana put a spare bed in Kekoa's room, she would end up in bed with her friend. She always felt like she was safe and treasured when they'd snuggled up together.

She had never experienced a family like the Makana's. The love they had for one another over flowed. Liv was just thankful that she got a chance to share that.

But she couldn't help but feel sadness for the relationship she had with her own mother. After that night, it was different between them. Very distant and strained. The complete opposite of Mrs. Makana.

Kekoa had often tried to get the two on speaking terms at least, but her efforts would fall flat. She loved Kekoa for that. She was a good friend. That's why she can't stop thinking about her…she was felling nostalgic. _Yeah…that's right. That's all it is…_

Rubbing her eyes, Olivia ran a hand through her hair. "She's my friend…that's all it is…" Liv said unconvincingly. Sighing, she got up and made her way to her room. She went through her nightly routine then crawled into bed.

She shut her tired eyes and her mind went to Kekoa and how wonderful it felt to wake up with her arms wrapped around her. Liv smiled and sighed as she drifted off to sleep.


	2. Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing except the Makana family

"HEY UGLY! WAKE UP!" the teasing voice bellowed. "COME ON! LET'S GO! TIME TO FEED THE CHICKENS!" Muffled laughter could be heard in the other room.

Kekoa groaned. She stretched under her covers and rubbed her eyes. "Chickens? We don't have chickens…" she mumbled not quite awake.

Her mother tiptoed into her room and smiled as she brushed away the hair from her daughter's face.

"Morning Keiki. Time to wake up sweetie…" she said softly. Kekoa opened one then the other eye and rubbed her tired face.

"Dude! Get up already! I'm freakin hungry!" Kekoa's older brother whined. Their mother turned sharply and gave him a stern look.

"Kei! That's enough of you. Out!" She pointed a finger to the next room. He stalked of mumbling to himself. Turning back to her youngest, she smiled brightly.

"We'll meet you outside." She bent down and kissed her on her forehead then left Kekoa alone.

_I need to change those locks_ , Kekoa thought with a smile. She stretched once more and threw the covers off of her. She got up and grabbed her towel and headed for the bathroom.

It was their little family tradition to visit a sibling's home for breakfast on the weekends. They had started it when the eldest, Abegaila, had gotten married and moved out. Breakfasts were never the same in the Makana house since then. To help the younger kids get used to her not being there, Abegaila suggested they come over for breakfast on the weekends.

And thus started the tradition. As the family got bigger, they brought along their children, husbands and wives. It was loud and normally crazy but this is what their family loved. Everyone was involved from making the actually breakfast to setting up the table.

15 minutes later and freshly showered, Kekoa finally emerged from her room. She had a small apartment so it was fairly crowded. With 6 older married siblings plus 14 nephews and nieces plus spouses…it was a wonder the floor managed to hold them all.

" _Finally_ …thought I was going to have to call a search party for you…"

Kekoa stuck out her tongue at her sister. "Careful…I can kick you out Malie…." Her sister feigned hurt.

"Watch out baby sister. Don't go messing with me _Keko_ ," Mali teased as she danced around like a monkey.

"I'm not a monkey, stupid. It's _Kekoa_ …"

" _Girls_ …" their father warned. Since Kekoa and Malie were the youngest of the group, they'd get on each other's nerves. Mali's brother twin brother, Malu, was the quiet out of the two. Kekoa and Lu were close. They often confided in each other. They were very much alike.

"Can we eat now?" said the eldest nephew, Andrew. He was very smart for an 18 year old. Well the family thought so...everyone laughed at how he was very much like his uncle Kei, always hungry.

"Sure thing keiki." Everyone began their appointed tasks. Kekoa and the nephew's and nieces all helped with clearing a spot for everyone to sit. They got out a small folding table for the children and chairs to go with it. The others went to the kitchen to prepare the big breakfast.

Malu wandered over to Kekoa threw an arm over his baby sister's shoulders. "How's it going kid?" He playfully ruffled Kekoa's hair. Kekoa elbowed him in the ribs then wrapped an arm around his waist.

She shrugged. "Same old, same old…"

"You sure about that?" He said with a slight smirk. Kekoa eyed him carefully.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

Shrugging, he just smiled at her. "Nothing. I saw Olivia the other day. I asked her if you two had the chance to hang out lately. Her smile was brighter then the sun…I'm telling you, she's got a thing for you…"

Kekoa rolled her eyes at him. Since she brought Olivia home to meet her family, they had teased Kekoa relentlessly. When Olivia decided to spend nights in Kekoa's room, this led to more teasing. Everyone in the family thought these two friends would someday end up together.

"God Lord! Malu! There is no way on this green earth that she has a 'thing' for me…"

"How do you know that, little sis? Have you ever asked her?" Although Malu had teased her with the rest of the family, he was always aware of how much Kekoa could take. He also knew how deeply his sister felt for her friend. She had confessed to him how she felt when they were about to go off to the police academy together.

_Kekoa had dragged her older brother into the spare room of their house._

" _What the hell is the matter with you?" Malu rubbed his upper arm. His sister had been acting strange lately._

" _Shhh! Keep quiet…"_

" _Shit! Did you do something illegal? I swear…if you did, I'll kill you!"_

" _No! Damn it! Would you keep it down?" Kekoa covered his mouth before he could reply. He just looked annoyed._

" _Ok…if I take my hand off, will you just be quiet?" She waited until he nodded. Kekoa stepped back and took a breath._

" _I know that if I ask the rest of them, they'll just do it more. Please…just back off on the teasing…"_

_Malu looked at his sister as if she had gone insane. "Dude, you know we're just goofing around. Teasing is what we do best, man!"_

" _That's not what I meant. Just back off on teasing me and Liv. Please?" She begged her older brother._

' _She's serious.' Malu thought. He had never seen his kid sister like this before. "Why?" he asked softly._

_She poked her head out of the room and looked down the hall. Kekoa looked nervous. Then it hit him. His eyes grew wide._

" _Oh. My. God…you like her don't you?" He whispered. Kekoa turned red and looked away._

" _I don't like her…" she said softly. She shut her eyes to stop her tears from falling._

" _Then…what do you…oh! OH!" Malu finally got it. "You're in love with her!" His eyes were even wider then before. He was grinning like an idiot._

" _Shhhh! Not so loud!" Kekoa began to pace. She was so nervous._

" _Well have you told her?" Malu followed his sister with his eyes. 'This is great!' he thought._

_Spinning on her heel, she stared at her brother. "Are you nuts? Of course not! I can't tell her?" Was her brother insane?_

_Malu just looked genuinely surprised. "Why not? You guys are perfect for each other…"_

" _Seriously, did mom and dad drop you as a child?" Malu picked up a pillow and threw it at her._

" _I'm serious. Why haven't you told her? She has a right to know…"_

" _That's easy for you to say, bro. You're straight…you can walk up to any girl and say, 'hey sweetheart, lets go out' and know one will think anything of it. I on the other hand can't do that…"_

_He knew the difficulties of what that was like. His sister was gay after all. But that didn't mean it had to stop her from living just like the rest of us._

" _Kekoa, she's no ordinary girl. This is Olivia for crying out loud. You two have been joined at the hip since you brought her here. The family is crazy about her…you're insane about her. I don't see the problem…"_

" _You don't see…oh my God! There is a HUGE problem. She's straight! As in, she dates guys only! That kind of straight! That would be a slight problem, don't you think?" Kekoa's voice had risen slightly._

_Holding up his hands in surrender, Malu reached out and took his sister in his arms. "I got it, sis. I got it. Yeah, that would be a problem." He never really knew how much his baby sister felt for Olivia. He knew about her crush, but this was different now._

_Kekoa cried as Malu held her. He just held her as she cried. As her tears finally stopped, Malu leaned back slightly to look at his sister._

" _I still think you should tell her…" he said gently. He watched as Kekoa shook her head._

" _No…no way. If I tell her and she walks away…I can't loose my best friend Malu…I just can't…I'll die if I loose her…" Kekoa shut her eyes at the thought of watching Olivia leaving her. She couldn't bare it._

_Malu gathered his sister in his arms again and held her tight. "It's gonna be alright…"_

" _Promise you won't say a word to no one…promise me, Lu…you can't tell Liv or anyone else…please…" Kekoa begged. It hurt to see his sister like this but he knew Kekoa was right._

_If Kekoa did tell Liv, and she turned away, it would ultimately kill her. That was a chance he didn't want to take with his sister. Nodding he promised her._

" _I promise, Kekoa. No one will ever no…I promise. It's going to be alright…I promise…"_

"Hey now…can't hurt your big brother for trying, can you?" They smiled and Malu gave his sister's shoulder a squeeze. "Ok…I gotta get back. Lynn is going to have my hide if I'm not in the kitchen…"

As if on cue, Malu's wife poked her head out. "There you are! He's out here slaking!" Lynn called out to the group in the kitchen. A chorus of 'Malu' could be heard followed by laughter.

Shaking his head, he shrugged and leaned over and kissed his sister on the cheek. He winked at her as he headed for the kitchen. "Think about it, ok?"

Laughing, Kekoa shook her head. "Not gonna happen, bro!" _No way… Olivia is straight. And she always will be…_ Kekoa thought sadly. Kekoa felt a tugging at her hand. She looked down and saw that it was 7 year old Lana.

Smiling, Kekoa swooped the young girl into her arms. "Hello there Miss Lana. How are you today?" The young girl giggled and shrugged. Kekoa laughed at how cute she was and cuddled her.

"Kekoa have you seen…ah…there you are young lady. Mama's been looking all over for you…" Kanae said as Kekoa handed her niece off to her mom. "Sweetie, go find your brother and tell him to wash his hands…" Nodding, Lana took off for her brother.

"And use soap!" Kanae yelled after her. Laughing, Kekoa and Kanae watched as the two children went to the bathroom.

"10 dollars say, they miss the soap and sink altogether…"

"Oh ye of little faith. They'll get the soap…this time…" the two were quiet then laughed out loud.

"So…anyone we should know about?" Kanae was unlike the others. She mainly kept to herself a lot, probably because she was the middle child. She wasn't old enough to hang out with Abegaila and she was too young to hang out with Malie or herself.

She spent most of her time with her nose in a book. She was the only one in the family to graduate top of every class. No one was surprised when she had become an author of several novels and children's books.

Smiling at her oldest sister, Kekoa gently bumped her shoulder with Kanae's. "I don't know. Have anyone in mind?"

Rolling her eyes, Kanae just smirked. "Not that I know of. You did have this weird smile on your face when you were sleeping though…" she laughed as Kekoa's mouth fell open.

"I'm kidding!" Kekoa tossed a stuffed animal at her sister which made Kanae laugh harder.

"You are mean, you know that!" Kekoa laughed.

"Girls! It's time to set the tables up!" Their mother stated then went back into the kitchen. Rolling their eyes, the two sisters began to set the tables up. They caught up on work and personal life as they went. These two didn't get to see each other a whole lot during the week.

"You know…it would be so much easier if you just bought a bigger place…" said Kaimana as he placed the first dish on the table. He wasn't as bad as his twin, Kei, although left to his own devises, something would be blown up.

"Kai, you can either pay for a nicer and bigger place. Or you can park your rear end over there…" Kekoa said playfully. Out of all the other siblings, Kai was Kekoa's favourite. He was able to make her laugh with out being stupid.

Kekoa reached over and hugged him. Kai picked her up in his embrace and squeezed. "Long time no see Keko," he said as he let his sister go. He and Kei had gone into business together opening their own special effects – make up Production Company. _Believe It or Not FX_ had become popular for the easy to use FX. They were also called onto many studio lots to help with the effects.

Kei and Kaimana were the entertainer's in the family. Never a dull moment between these two brothers. They had kept the family in stitches with some of the wildest things they had done. They almost gave their mother a heart attack one Halloween with the creepy make up they had.

"Move! Coming through!" Kei bellowed. He had oven mitts on and was carrying a plate filled with beacon and sausages. Once placed on the table, Kekoa reached out to take a piece of beacon but her hand was slapped away.

"Hey! No cook, no eat!" Kei said with a smirk on his face. Everyone laughed and soon the tables were filled with food and loud chatter. Of course, no one could resist a chance at teasing Kekoa for her small living space. Mali and Kekoa threw playful insults at each other.

It ended with Kekoa and Mali getting dish duty while the others packed up the tables and chairs. The children sat around the TV and watched cartoons.

Life couldn't get better in the Makana family.

* * *

"Where are we having breakfast next week?" Kei asked. Everyone threw whatever they could find at him.

"Kei, at the rate that you're going, you'll give Santa Clause a run for his money…" his wife, Melissa, said with a smile. He just made a face at her which everyone laughed at.

"Keiki how is Olivia? You haven't spoken much about her?" Mr. Makana asked softly. A chorus of 'Awwww' was heard. The only person that hadn't said a thing was Malu who just gave her an apologetic smile.

"That's enough!" their mother said sternly. In reality, the family wondered where she was since she normally had breakfast with them.

Kekoa shrugged. "Dunno Pops. Guess she got a call…" she looked away. Kekoa was sure Olivia was sleeping through her hangover. She wisely kept that piece of information to herself. Her parents didn't like it when their kids drank, and Olivia was considered to be family.

Mr and Ms. Makana looked at each other but kept quiet. As they listened to the endless chatter from their children and grandchildren, they kept a close eye on their youngest daughter. They knew she went on dates and had girlfriends, but they never lasted long enough for the family to meet. Olivia was the only lasting relationship Kekoa had.

They had watched through the years as Olivia and Kekoa grew closer to each other. They wondered if Olivia would ever see how their daughter felt for her. They often wondered if Olivia had ever felt the same. It was obvious to anyone that saw the two together that there was something deeper there.

But one thing was certain. They wished nothing but happiness for both of them. Regardless of what happened in the end.

* * *

The constant ringing of a cell phone was the only thing that could be heard. Olivia groaned as she reached out to grab it before it fell off of her night stand.

Without looking to see who it was Liv flipped it open. "Captain, I can't come in…"

" _I told you, it's Sergeant…"_ said the playful voice.

Eyes snapping open, Olivia looked at her calendar next to the alarm clock. "Shit! I'm so sorry I missed breakfast…"

Kekoa chuckled on the other end. It sent shivers down Olivia's body whenever Kekoa did that. Olivia ran a hand through her hair and sat up.

" _It's alright Makamae. You're safe…I just told dad that you must have been called out or something…"_

Sighing in relief, Olivia threw the covers off of her and sat on the edge of the bed. "Tell me you at least saved some food for me?"

" _Are you kidding? Kei couldn't stop himself…he ate me out of my own home!"_

"Asshole! I'm still coming over to raid your fridge," Olivia said as she went into the washroom.

" _If you insist._ _Don't you have a fridge? You can cook, right"_

"Yeah, I do…but what would be the fun in that? Ok…I'll just wash up and be there in about 30 minutes…"

" _You got it boss! Beacon and eggs good with you?"_

"Yeah. Sure."

" _Great…because that's all I have left…"_

Olivia laughed. They said there goodbyes and Liv stepped into the shower. She had the wildest dream of Kekoa and herself. It was strange dreaming of Kekoa like that but if felt so…normal.

She had dreamt that she and Kekoa were out having a good time as always. Then somehow they were dancing close with loud music around them. Olivia's breath caught as she realized that Kekoa's head was lowering…then their lips touched. It was the hottest kiss Olivia had ever received in her life. And it was only in a dream!

Shaking her head, Olivia wasn't sure why she was having these dreams about her best friend. Yeah, Kekoa was beautiful...stunning. She had an almost tanned complexion with hazel-green eyes. A testament to her mixed heritage.

She wished the guys she dated were like Kekoa. She had everything she looked for in a guy – she was the type you'd want to bring home to mom but she had a certain sex appeal about her. You could almost call Kekoa gentlemanly. She was every woman's version of a 'dream man'.

_Yeah…keep telling yourself that, Olivia…that's why you've been dreaming of her for so long…_

Sighing, Olivia stepped out of the shower and dried off. She stared at herself in the mirror for a while. _For god sakes! She's my best friend! I'm not attracted to her…I'm straight! ...I'm straight!_

* * *

 

Olivia, frustrated with her thoughts, threw her towel into the hamper with a little more force then was warranted. She tried to get herself ready with out thinking of her friend, which was impossible.

_You're not gay! She's your best friend…you've been close for mor_ _e then 20 years. That's why you've been thinking about her. That's all!_

"Damn it!" Olivia threw her comb down. She leaned against the bathroom sink and hung her head in frustration. She took several calming breaths before she resumed getting ready. She got dressed with more concentration then normal.

Finally succeeding in getting ready with no problems, she grabbed her jacket and car keys. They didn't live far from one another, one of the perks of living in New York City, so the drive only lasted a few minutes.

Slowing the car down, Olivia was able to find a parking spot close enough to Kekoa's building. Taking a deep breath, Olivia calmed her shot nerves. In 20 years of knowing Kekoa, she never felt this excited or aroused about seeing her friend. But then again she never had an untamed dream about her friend before.

Olivia felt her pulse quicken with just the thought of that kiss. _Relax Olivia…deep breaths…there we go…_ quickly getting out of the car before she changed her mind, she walked the short distance to the building and went in.

The elevator ride was too brief and Olivia took a moment to steady herself before she knocked. The door flew open and everything Olivia prepared herself for went out the window.

Kekoa stood there with a silly grin on her face. "About time! Get in here!" she moved to the side and Olivia's arm brushed against Kekoa's belt and she shivered. She didn't have time to dwell on it when Kekoa was holding out her arms wide for a hug.

_God she smells good…_ Liv thought as she felt herself being squeezed tight. _Stop it! Don't even go there!_ Olivia's mind screamed.

Stepping away from her friend, Kekoa held her at arms length. "You ok?"

"Uh..yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" Liv asked nervously. _Am I that transparent?_

"Hangover's can be a bitch. You're not gonna throw up or anything?" Kekoa said with a hint of a smile on her face. Relief flooded Olivia.

"Oh…" Olivia laughed nervously. "No. Don't you worry. I did all my puking at home. I'm all puked out," she said as she gave Kekoa kiss to the cheek. _Big mistake Olivia!_ Her arms automatically went around Kekoa. She inhaled the husky scent and unconsciously kissed Kekoa's neck.

Clearing her throat, Kekoa pulled back abruptly. Her face red, she murmured something about checking the beacon and awkwardly stumbled to the kitchen. _Whoa…what was that about?_ Kekoa thought as she steadied herself on the counter.

Slightly shaking, Olivia made her way to the couch. _What the hell was I thinking?_ Pinching the bridge of her nose and shutting her eyes, Olivia berated herself.

Kekoa's hands were shaking as she made the eggs and beacon. She was lucky that she didn't drop the plates as she took them outside to the living room.

"Here you go…" Kekoa awkwardly placed the plate on the coffee table and sat a few inches away from Liv. The other woman smiled nervously and thanked Kekoa shyly. They ate in silence.

"So…" Olivia tried for some conversation but failed to think of any topic. Kekoa had the same problem.

"Wanna watch some TV?" Kekoa asked when she couldn't take the silence anymore.

"Yeah…" Liv answered quickly. They reached for the remote at the same time nearly bumping their heads. Kekoa sheepishly smiled and handed the remote to Olivia. As she was passing it over to her, their fingers brushed.

The jolt of electricity that shot through them made both women jump back abruptly. They dropped the remote and just stared at each, their heartbeats speeding up. Swallowing nervously, Kekoa quickly picked up the remote and left it on the coffee table and got up and brought their empty dishes to the kitchen.

_What the hell is going on?_ Kekoa thought.

Meanwhile, Olivia had to get up and move. All this pent up energy was getting to her. She stopped by the window and stared outside trying to figure out why she was acting the way she was.

Finding no reasonable answer or one she was willing to admit to yet, she ran a hand through her hair.

_Maybe I should just go?_

"Please don't…" Olivia spun on her heel. Kekoa was standing in the door way of the living room. Liv didn't realize she had spoken out loud. "I know that was a bit…awkward. Please don't go because of that…" Kekoa gently pleaded.

"I don't think it's a good idea to stay." Olivia said softly. The look that fell upon Kekoa's face nearly brought Olivia to her knees.

"Oh…ok…" she said softly. Disappointed and hurt, Kekoa nodded. She looked away knowing Olivia would see tears in her eyes. Kekoa took a breath and faced her friend. "I guess movie and a dinner are out of the question then?" she said with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

Smiling sadly, Olivia nodded. "I'll just grab my jacket…" Liv reached out and took her jacket from the back of the couch and headed for the door. Kekoa moved aside to let her pass and followed.

Olivia opened and slipped on her jacket as she stepped into the hallway.

"Could you give me a call when you get home?" Kekoa asked tenderly as she stuffed her hands in her pockets.

Olivia avoided her gaze as she nodded. "Yeah…sure…" she turned away with out looking back. Kekoa watched as Liv waited for the elevator then disappeared from sight. Kekoa stared at the spot where Olivia had stood.

_She won't call…_ Kekoa thought sadly. She wasn't sure what happened but whatever it was, it made Olivia run out of here fast. All Kekoa knew was that it somehow involved her, and she wasn't sure what hurt more – watching Olivia run away or knowing that Olivia was running away _from_ her.

Kekoa closed the door quietly. She looked around her small apartment and realized how lonely she was. She headed for her bedroom and grabbed her gear and car keys and headed out.

Kekoa drove down to the training facility that SWAT uses. Her mind kept going back and forth to Olivia. Kekoa knew it involved her, but to what extent? Sighing, Kekoa shook her head. She wasn't going to get the answers anytime soon.

She just hoped that Olivia was alright.

"Whoa! Boss! What are you doing here?" Asked the young officer.

"Hey Pup! I'm just gonna catch up on some training I need to get done. Maybe work out a bit. You keeping out of trouble?"

The young man nodded. "You know I am. I think Captain Rosco is over at the range…"

"Thanks Pup…" Kekoa hefted her bag over her shoulder and turned to leave but stopped.

"You think you can find another nickname for me Sarg? I mean, I've been in the unit for a year now…"

Laughing, Kekoa looked the young officer over and thought for a moment. Smirking, Kekoa scratched her chin. "Ok, ok…let's see…ah, here we go. 'Spider' sound good to you?"

"Spider? Why Spider?"

"Well, it was that or Blondie…" Kekoa laughed at the expression the young officer gave her. "Get outta here before I change my mind!" She watched as the officer walked quickly out of the building.

Shaking her head, she smiled. Kekoa couldn't remember being that young when she started SWAT. She headed for the locker rooms when she head her name called out.

"Sergeant! What the hell are you doing here?" Kekoa turned to see Captain Rosco heading towards her.

"I figured I could catch up on some well needed training, sir…"

"Bullshit. You're never here on a weekend unless you need to be. What is it?" Kekoa and Captain Rosco continued to the locker room. Kekoa shrugged.

They stopped in front of the locker rooms. Captain Rosco sighed. He knew something wasn't right with Kekoa. "Tell you what? Get suited up, and I'll meet you over at the shooting range."

Nodding, Kekoa watched as Captain Rosco left and headed down to the small arms shooting range. Letting out a breath, Kekoa went in and got changed.

_So much for wanting to be alone_ …

* * *

"You missed…again…." Captain Rosco pointed out. Clenching her teeth, Kekoa grunted in frustration. Captain Eddie Rosco had known Kekoa since she first entered SWAT which was 8 years ago. They had become good friends over the years.

"You know, the only way to remedy a bad shot, is to tell me what's bugging you…" Eddie said as he was leaning against the wall. He knew something was up the second he saw Kekoa here on a weekend. Normally she avoided the place like a plague.

Throwing her hands up in frustration, she put the gun on safety and holstered to her side. She turned around to face Eddie and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Woman trouble?"

Kekoa studied Rosco. Wincing up at the sun, Kekoa nodded. "How'd you guess?"

Eddie shrugged. "I know how much you're crazy about your family, so I know it wasn't that. Wanna talk about it?"

Kekoa leaned against the small table. "She confuses me…" she said softly. It was true; Olivia has been playing havoc with her head for over 20 years. And now with this afternoon's awkward moment, it didn't help matters at all.

Eddie chuckled. "That's what their supposed to do. That's how they keep us in line…" he said as he moved so he was now beside Kekoa.

"Yeah…but this is different…"

"Define 'different'"

Kekoa hesitated for a moment. She wasn't sure how much to tell the Captain. "Well…I've known her for over 20 years…" Kekoa said slowly. She wasn't sure if Eddie knew Olivia.

Inhaling, Eddie nodded. "Wow…20 years, huh? And you're still sane?" He laughed as Kekoa nudged him with her shoulder.

"I don't know any more. She's great…"

"But…"

"She's straight." She said. _And there lies the problem…_

Eddie quietly processed this. "Let me guess…you've been madly in love with her for 20 years?"

"That pretty much sums it up…" Kekoa said miserably.

Running a hand through his thinning hair, Eddie let out a breath. "Why couldn't you have a normal problem, huh? Like 'my dog ran away' kind of thing. Christ, you sure can pick 'em…"

"Thanks…" she said sarcastically.

"I take it she doesn't know how you feel?" Shaking her head, Kekoa looked even more miserable. "Well…there's the problem. Just tell her…"

"No way! Did I mention, she's _straight_ …" _why does everyone always forget that part?_ Kekoa thought.

Laughing to himself, Eddie rubbed the back of his neck. "Then be prepared for a very long confusing and miserable life…"

"Eddie, I just can't, ok? She's my best friend…I just can't drop our friendship because of how I feel…" Kekoa was getting more frustrated and confused by the second.

"All the more reason to tell her…"

"Easy for you to say…" she said grumpily. Eddie rolled his eyes.

"And that's why I've been married to the same woman for the last thirty years," he said gently. Smiling, Eddie patted Kekoa's back. "Get out of here…go on. I'll see you here Monday morning…"

Nodding, Kekoa packed up her gear and went to the change room. Eddie watched her go. _Good luck buddy…_

* * *

Olivia marched through the FBI halls looking for that particular room. Many of the agents looked at her oddly, but she didn't care.

_There you are…_ Liv knocked softly. She waited patiently for the door to open.

"Olivia! Come in…"

"Thank you for seeing me like this…"

Shaking his head, he smiled gently and motioned for her to sit down. "What can I do for you?"

She bit her lip. _Maybe this wasn't a good idea…_

"Olivia?" He asked gently. Olivia stared at him. They'd worked together for years and somehow she knew…he never mentioned a wife or a girlfriend. But somehow her gut just knew…

He sat patiently. When Olivia called him earlier, she sounded frustrated, confused. He immediately cancelled any other appointments and blocked out his time for her. He had a feeling it was something big.

"George…can I ask you something?" The doctor noticed she was fidgety. Not a good sign.

He smiled and nodded. "Ask me anything."

Taking a deep breath Olivia cleared her throat. "I don't mean to be rude but…how did you…I mean…" she stopped, frustration slowly winning out.

"Take your time Olivia," George said softly. Nodding, Olivia swallowed her nervousness.

She took a moment to steady herself.

"George, when did you first realize you were gay?"

Slightly taken aback, the doctor stared at Olivia.

_Didn't see that one coming!_


	3. Confusion pt1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings in chapter 1

George Huang had profiled the most notorious serial killers of the 21st century. He's interviewed countless pedophiles. He was trained to observe the minds of individuals that have no soul or humanity in them. He saw it all and nothing seemed to surprise him anymore.

That was until Olivia walked into his office. He sat there hiding his surprise at her question.

"May I ask why?" He said gently. He knew why she had asked but he wanted Olivia to say it; to admit it to herself.

Liv looked down at her hands and sighed. She looked back up and silently pleaded with her eyes. "I'm not exactly sure, myself."

George was quiet for a moment. He remembered what it was like for him when he first realized that he may be gay. He smiled gently at Olivia who seemed to relax…a bit.

"I was about fifteen when I started to question myself…then when I was sixteen I had my very first crush on the boy next door." He smiled warmly at the memory. He didn't dare say a word to anyone, not even his best friend. He was so terrified that his parents would find out and disown him.

"What happened?"

Shrugging, George smiled sadly, "nothing. He moved away in the summer. I moved on to better things, so to speak."

Nodding, Olivia sat there thinking. "But how _did_ you know you were gay?"

He considered his answer slowly. "What's this really about Olivia?" he asked softly. Liv sighed loudly and ran a hand through her hair.

"I…I don't know anymore. I'm just so confused…"

Nodding in understanding, George smiled gently at her. "That's understandable, Liv. This is very new to you..."

"You can say that again…"

Smiling, George was quiet for a moment. "As a cop, you deal with black and white and sometimes grey. For the most part, you know exactly where you're going in an investigation…"

Olivia nodded. "This is a whole different color all together. I'm not sure where I am anymore…"

George smiled at that. "Think of it as another form of an investigation. Look at all the facts, look at the evidence…"

"But George, you know that that doesn't always work…" Liv said a bit skeptically.

Nodding, he merely continued, "That's why you need to dig deeper until you find the answer."

"What if I don't know where to start?"

George sat back in his chair and folded his fingers together. "Ok…when did you start questioning yourself?"

Olivia thought back as she remembered the first time her heart begun to race with the sight of her friend.

"It was couple of years ago. A friend of mine was having this annual SWAT vs. Firemen event. I saw…her…and my palms got sweaty. I didn't know what was happening…"

Images from that day filled her mind.

_A smiling and sweaty Kekoa ran over to Olivia. She picked her friend up and twirled her around. Olivia gave a cry as she was spun around. She held on for dear life._

_By the time Liv was gently put down, the two were laughing._

" _That was awesome! I totally kicked his ass!" Kekoa was out of breath but she had the biggest grin. She had just beaten one of the firemen in a tough obstacle course which saw Kekoa climbing, running, jumping, and dragging a fellow SWAT officer to the finish line._

" _Congratulations! That was unbelievable!" Liv said as she cupped Kekoa's face._

" _Thanks for coming…it mean's a lot…" Kekoa said shyly. Seeing her best friend at the finish line was the best prize Kekoa had ever received._

" _Sweetie, there is no way I was ever going to miss this!" Olivia tugged at Kekoa's arms and wrapped her arms around her. Olivia inhaled and the smell of sweat mixed with Kekoa's husky cologne was making her feel something entirely beyond friendship._

_Snapping her eyes opened, Olivia pulled back slightly._

" _Liv what's wrong?" Her friend didn't look very well._

_Laughing it off, Olivia just scrunched up her nose. "You stink. That's what's wrong…"_

_Kekoa knew there was something more but she let it slide for now. Instead, she opened her arms out and went after Liv who had taken off running._

" _Come here! I want another hug!" The two laughed as Kekoa caught up with Liv. Turning around, Olivia wrapped her arms around Kekoa's waist and rested her head against her chest._

_Kekoa didn't know what just happened but she wasn't about to complain…_

"Olivia?" George asked softly. He patiently waited.

Sighing, Liv nodded. "At first I wasn't sure what was going on. The feeling would come and go…so I didn't think anything of it…"

"What would you do when you'd get these…'feelings'?"

Olivia sighed. "I don't know…I guess I'd give off this vibe that I was looking because I'd end up with a boyfriend that I'd end up breaking it off with…"

"And why would you break it off with them?" George knew that they were getting close to the reason.

Olivia was quiet. She stared at George for what seemed like forever. "Because…" she whispered roughly.

"Because what Olivia?" George said softly. _Come on Liv…you're so close…_

Olivia inhaled deeply. "They never measured up…" Olivia closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. Her heart was beating so fast, she thought it would burst out of her.

"Never measured up to whom?" George asked. He watched as Olivia went through her emotions; saw the confusion in her eyes.

"…to her…they never measured up to _her_ …" Liv choked out. Tears were welling up in her eyes as she said it. "They were never her…no matter where I looked. They were never going to be what she has always meant to me…"

Olivia took a deep breath as if she had been holding it in for so long. She grasped the arm rests as if she were on a rollercoaster. George smiled softly as he stood up and sat next to her.

"You did well, Olivia…" he said gently. Although she didn't fully come out and say it, he was proud of her for taking the first step. He laid his hand on hers and squeezed in silent support.

A tear fell from her eyes as she looked at her friend. "What happens now?"

Shrugging, George contemplated this. "That's up to you…" he said quietly. "I'd like to see you again, though…"

Olivia nodded. "That be a good idea, Doc." She sniffed a little and George reached over to his desk and grabbed the box of tissue and handed it over to her.

"George, I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention any of this to the squad…yet. I still need to figure all this out first…"

"You have my word, Olivia…"

A knock on the door interrupted them. "Doctor…we're going to need your expertise…oh! I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were busy…" said the FBI agent.

George looked at Olivia who just nodded. "I'll be alright…"

Giving her hand another squeeze, he looked up at the agent. "I'll be right there." Nodding, the young agent left them alone.

"You sure you're going to be alright?" George asked gently. Smiling, Olivia nodded.

"Yeah…I'll call you if I need anything…"

"You do that. Come on…I'll walk you out…"

"Thanks George…for everything…" Liv said as they walked out of the office. He smiled at her.

* * *

Kekoa jogged the short distance to the little grocery store near her apartment. She walked in and was surprised that the gentle owner wasn't in his usual place behind the register.

Kekoa picked up what she needed and headed for the cashier. She must have had a curious look because the cashier smiled at her.

"You must be one of the regulars…"

"Um…excuse me?" Kekoa was lost. The woman smiled again.

"Yeah…my grandfather is the owner…"

A light went off in Kekoa's head. "Got it. Where is Manny anyways?"

This time the woman woman's smile faltered. "He's in the hospital…"

Nearly dropping her bag, Kekoa's eyes widened. "What! What happened? Is he alright?"

Holding up her hand, the woman smiled shyly. "He's alright. He had a bit of a fall at home and won't be able to get on his feet for awhile. So I volunteered to help him…"

Relief poured through Kekoa. "That's good to hear…I mean that he's ok…" Kekoa babbled. The woman smiled and Kekoa blushed.

The woman held her hand out. "Chelsea Kincaid…" Kekoa shook it, still taken aback.

"Uh…I'm Kekoa…" she stuttered. The woman laughed softly. _She has a really nice laugh…_

"Well, it's nice to meet you Kekoa…come here often?" Chelsea said with a twinkle in her eye. Kekoa smiled brightly, flashing her dimpled cheeks.

"Yeah…almost everyday…" Kekoa closed her eyes as she realized how lame that sounded. _Oh...Wow…that's really smooth, moron…_

Chelsea laughed softly. "I guess I'll be seeing you a lot then…"

Swallowing nervously, Kekoa just nodded. "Uh…yeah…um…thanks…" she mumbled and quickly walked out. She quickly walked home and tossed her groceries into the fridge.

 _Was she flirting with me?_   It hit Kekoa like a tone of bricks. Smiling, she sauntered over to the sofa and flipped the TV on.

* * *

Olivia walked around Central Park trying to clear her head. She had no idea where to even begin figuring out what the next step would be.

It was all too much that her head was spinning. She sat on a bench and just watched as other park goers walked about.

She was so lost in thought she didn't notice the shadow that was cast over her.

"You look awfully pensive for a weekend…"

Olivia's head snapped around to see Malu standing there. Smiling brightly she got up and tightly hugged him.

"Hey…what are you doing here?" Liv asked gently. She was always fond of Malu, particularly because he always knew when to draw the line when everyone started teasing Kekoa.

Malu motioned Liv to sit back down. He shrugged. "Just out with the kids. Lynn got called into work a bit earlier." Lynn was a nurse at Mount Sinai.

Nodding, Olivia stared back out at the playing field where she saw Malu's 3 children running around. She smiled as she watched them chase after each other.

"How's Lynn?"

Malu watched Olivia watching his kids. He hated keeping secrets, especially from Liv. He respected her and what she did for a living. She was also a good friend to his sister.

"She's good…we missed you at breakfast…" He stated slowly. He knew that his sister had covered for her this morning which only meant one thing. Liv had been drinking.

Olivia looked uncomfortable. Smiling gently Malu waved off her apology. "Don't worry about it. I won't tell dad…"

Smiling Olivia thanked him. They sat quietly and watched Ben, Morgan and Ipolani run after one another.

"God…their getting so big. I remember when they were just in diapers." Olivia said wistfully.

Nodding Malu smiled. "Yeah. I went to bed one night and woke up and gone were the little cute babies. Now they can't stop moving!" He playfully teased and Olivia laughed.

"So…have you had breakfast?"

Inhaling, Olivia nodded but didn't say a word not knowing what to say. Malu picked up on it and eyed Olivia.

"Something happened?" Again, Liv just nodded. "Should I kick my sister's ass?" Olivia's head snapped around to stare at Malu. He just patiently sat there waiting for Olivia to give him something.

Swallowing, Olivia shook her head. "No…she didn't do anything…" she said quietly. _It's me…_ she thought.

"Daddy! Look what Lani found!" Ben ran beside his sister, Lani. Morgan was close behind.

Both adults laughed and saw what Lani had in her hand. The young girl held a frog gently in both hands trying not to let it slip. She was covered in dirt and mud but she was smiling brightly.

Lani resembled her aunt Kekoa the most out of everyone in the family and was very close to her. She was also very much like Kekoa – quiet and every inch the tomboy.

"Look Livie! I caught him when he was jumping!" The little girl proudly said. Olivia laughed at how precious she was. She held out her hands so Lani could pass the creature to her.

"Uh…Lani, be careful. Don't get mud over Olivia, sweetie…" Malu said cautiously. He gently took her muddy hands and led her to the seat beside him, away from Liv.

"That's ok Lu. Why don't you sit here Lani…?" Olivia scooted over and Lani bounced off her seat and moved to sit next to Olivia. Morgan and Ben sat at each ends of the bench watching the frog closely.

"Daddy, can we keep him?" Lani asked as she held her hands out so not to get Olivia's jeans dirty.

"Yeah Daddy! Can we?" The twins asked. Sighing, Malu knew he was going to be in trouble. He heard Olivia laughing quietly.

"Well…"

"Ask mom…" all three children said at the same time. They new the drill but every now and then, they'd try to sneak something past their dad. Olivia laughed out loud.

"Tell you what guys? I'll keep him while you guys ask your mom. That sound like a fair deal to you?" The three kids thought about this.

Lani spoke first. "Ok…but can I visit him daddy?" Four sets of eyes turned in his direction. _Oh boy…_

He looked at his kids and couldn't say no. Malu nodded, "Ok. _But_ we'll have to discuss this with mom, ok?" A chorus of 'yes daddy' was the reply.

"Alright you three, go grab your stuff. We'll head back home…" Ben, Morgan and Lani ran back and grabbed their toys.

"Thanks for that but you don't have to keep it…" Malu said quietly making sure the kids were far enough not to hear him. He was about to take the frog away from Liv when she turned him away.

"No way. I made them a promise. Besides your parents taught me to keep the promises I make, so I'm going to take care of this little guy. Right buddy?"

As if on cue, the little frog croaked. Malu eyed Olivia warily. "You sure, Liv?" Seeing her nod, Malu sighed.

"Alright…but we'll have to get him cleaned up before you take him. We'll have to stop by the pet store and get him a proper home…"

"Thanks…"

The kids were back and skidded to a halt. "We're ready daddy!"

Forgetting her problems for now, Olivia got up and all five of them made their way to a water fountain and cleaned up the frog. Then they all headed for Malu's van then off they were to the pet store.

Lani sat next to Olivia watching the frog. Liv held it gently as Lani patted it's head. "What are you going to call him, sweetie?" She asked softly. Lani scratched her chin and thought for a moment.

"Kermit…" Lani said after a moment. Smiling at her, Olivia kissed the top of her head.

"That sounds like a fine name."

Lani smiled brightly and flashed Olivia her dimples. _So much like Kekoa…_

* * *

" _Hey ugly! Kai and I have a proposition for you..."_

Sighing, Kekoa rolled her eyes. Since they were kids, her two older brothers had many 'propositions' for her. Most of them got her into trouble.

"If it's anything illegal the answer is no…"

" _Now hear us out Stinky. Kai and I are experimenting with a few ideas and we need a model to try them out on…"_

"And you automatically called me?"

" _Oh come on, Keko! You know we'd never really hurt you or anything. At least I wouldn't…not sure about Kai though…"_

Kekoa laughed at that. "Fine…what do you want me to do?"

" _See, this is why we love you so! Next weekend after breakfast…after mom and dad are gone, we're just gonna need your face and arms…"_

Kekoa heard the smile in Kei's voice. She shook her head as she spoke. "Just my head and arms…I feel so safe now…"

" _Very funny Stinky. Anyways, we're thinking of making more of those facial wounds. So first we have to see how they look…you know test run it…"_

"Now I know my place in this family…I'm a guinea pig…" she said jokingly.

" _Now Kekoa that wasn't nice. If we wanted a guinea pig we would have just as mom and dad…"_

"Thanks…" Kekoa said sarcastically. Kei laughed.

" _Thanks again sis. We'll see you next week. Say hi to Olivia for me…"_

"Uh…yeah…sure. See you next week." They hung up and Kekoa sighed. She hadn't heard from Olivia the whole day. It felt so odd not to – they talked pretty much all the time.

She wondered if she should head down to the market to see Chelsea. She seemed nice enough. _Nah…she's probably busy…_

Instead she just fell onto her sofa and grabbed a controller and switched the TV setting to play her PS3. Her mind bounced from Chelsea to Olivia from time to time.

Growing frustrated, Kekoa tossed the controller into the bin and shut of the machine and just sat there. Without Olivia, her life pretty boring. She didn't go out much, in part because of her job but most of the time she just wasn't interested. The only times she did go out, she was with Olivia…or rather; Olivia would drag her out of the apartment.

Yup, her life was a great big ball of fun.

_Maybe I should just go down to the market. If she's interested, great. If not, I'll have another friend…it's not like I'm cheating on Liv or anything._

But Kekoa felt nauseated at that thought. _Oh…what the hell! I'll just stay here…God…I miss Liv…_

Rubbing her tired eyes Kekoa stretched out on the sofa and just laid there. She almost fell asleep when her phone rang.

Picking it up on the fourth ring, Kekoa answered sleepily. "If this is another proposition…"

" _Uh…wrong brother sis…"_

Kekoa opened her eyes fully and blinked away her sleep. "Oh…sorry…" she heard Lu laughing on the other line.

" _No worries…you busy?"_

"That depends…" Kekoa asked warily.

She heard her brother chuckle. He also heard her nephew and nieces in the background.

" _I was just wondering if we can make a pit stop at your place. We went to the pet store…"_

"Cool! What you get?"

" _Girls…settle down back there! Sorry…"_

"Just come on over…"

" _Thanks!"_ Malu said, clearly relieved.

Less then ten minutes later, Ben, Morgan and Lani were crowded around the tank watching the frog in Kekoa's apartment.

"She caught it all by herself?" Kekoa asked proudly.

Malu nodded. "I swear, I think she was you in a past life. She was all muddy and she didn't even notice…"

Kekoa smiled. She looked up at Olivia who seemed to be avoiding her since she came. Malu noticed as well but was wise not to say anything.

"I remember when you were 9, you gave mom a heart attack…"

Smiling at the memory, Kekoa just nodded. "Yeah...I had no idea mom was afraid of snakes…"

"Snake?" This was the first time since she had arrived that Olivia said anything. Grateful that she was actually speaking, Kekoa smiled and nodded.

"It was just a garden snake. Harmless…"

"Not to mom. She almost passed out. Dad grounded you for a month…" Malu said with a huge smile. Kekoa elbowed him and Olivia laughed.

"You just enjoyed me getting grounded."

"Yeah…I did."

Rolling her eyes, Kekoa went to the kitchen and got some snacks for the kids. "Ok, you three. Have a seat on the sofa…Lani, don't worry, I doubt he'll be going anywhere…come on now…"

She coaxed the young girl to the sofa, who was still glancing over every so often. Kekoa turned on the TV then turned back to Liv and Malu.

"If you want, you can leave them here with me. I could use the company…"

"Thanks. That be a good idea…Liv, did you need a ride back?" Malu and Kekoa stared at her.

"Um…if you don't mind, I'd like to hang out here for a bit…" she said a bit awkwardly. Malu looked from his sister to Liv then back again. He had a strange feeling that something was a bit off between the two.

He noticed that Liv was avoiding Kekoa. And that his sister was looking uncomfortable with Olivia so near. "You sure?" He didn't want to leave neither woman alone with each other.

Smiling at Malu, Olivia gave him a hug. "Thanks for the ride…I'll be ok." Still looking unsure, Malu nodded.

"Ok. Give me a call if you need anything." He turned and gave his sister a hug. "Behave yourselves…"

"Yes, daddy…" all three children said.

"I wasn't talking about you guys. I was talking about your aunt…" Lu teased. Kekoa playfully shoved him to the door with Olivia and the children laughing. Waving goodbye, Malu left.

Closing the door then heading for the living room, Kekoa nearly ran into Olivia who had been coming to her.

"Whoa! Sorry…" Kekoa steadied Olivia. They stood there, frozen, Kekoa's hands still on her hips. Realizing she held on longer then necessary, Kekoa abruptly let Liv go. "Sorry…" she mumbled as she turned away.

Kekoa went towards the sofa with Olivia following close behind her. "Hey Lani…I've got a change of cloths. Why don't you get out those and get into something a bit more cleaner?"

Lani nodded and Kekoa held out her hand. "On second thought, you hop into the bath tub and wash up, that way your mom doesn't get to upset…"

"Ok…" the little girl hopped along and went into the bathroom. Kekoa got out a towel and the clean cloths and placed them on the counter.

"We'll see you in a bit. If you need any help, you give me a shout."

Kekoa wandered out to the living room and quietly watched as Olivia, Ben and Morgan were snuggled together watching a kid's movie.

She smiled as she imagined Olivia with her own kids one day. Kekoa had to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. Kekoa wished she were different…born different…life would be so easy if she were just _different_.

_But this is who you are…and Liv is who she is…that will never change…_

Kekoa felt a tug on her hand and she noticed that Lani was all finished. Crouching down, Kekoa smiled lovingly and wrapped up the little girl in her arms. Lani giggled as she was carried into the room to get changed.

 _I have everything I need…so stop complaining…_ Kekoa berated herself.

As she and Lani went back, Olivia turned and stared at the two. She felt her heart swell by what she saw. Lani had her arms wrapped tightly around Kekoa's neck. Olivia wished she could figure this all out but she had no clue how to do it.

All these feelings were new…and they scared her. She watched as Kekoa set Lani down and turned her around to comb her hair gently. She heard the two talking and giggling and it filled Olivia's heart with a feeling she didn't quite understand.

"Livie?" Ben patted her knee. Looking down at the boy, she smiled.

"Yes sweetie?" Olivia reached out and played with his hair.

"I'm hungry…" he said innocently. Olivia glanced at Morgan who had fallen asleep. Turning to Ben, she smiled and held out her hand.

"Ok, big boy. Let's see what Keko has in her fridge…" The two were careful not to disturb Morgan as the got up and made their way into the kitchen.

It felt weird rummaging through someone else's fridge but it felt normal at the same time. They found some left over pizza. Olivia warmed it up in the microwave and handed a slice to Ben.

"Careful honey…it's still pretty hot…" Nodding, Ben carefully held his plate and went to the living room. Kekoa was coming out just as Olivia was coming from the kitchen. Lani and Ben were oblivious to the discomfort the adults were feeling.

Olivia and Kekoa stood there facing each other.

"So…how's your day going?" Kekoa asked when it was apparent that normal conversation wasn't going to work.

"Good. You?" Olivia shoved her hands into her pockets and looked everywhere but at Kekoa.

"Same. I did some groceries…Hey; did you know Manny is in the hospital?"

Olivia's eyes snapped up to Kekoa's. "What? When? Why? Is he ok?" Smiling slightly, Kekoa held her hand up to stop the flow of questions.

"He's good. Had a bit of a fall. His granddaughter is taking over until he's better…" Olivia looked relived to hear that Manny was fine.

"Chelsea is her name…" Kekoa said out of the blue. Olivia just stared blankly at her friend. "That's Manny's granddaughter…kinda cute if you ask me…"

Olivia had to fight to keep her knees from buckling. She felt like someone had just kicked her in the stomach.

"You…you…do?" Olivia tried to hide the hurt by shrugging it off. Kekoa didn't notice a thing.

Kekoa just nodded. "Yeah. A little young, but still cute. Collage maybe…"

Olivia was a tiny bit relived. "Guess there's no chance for you to date her then?"

Kekoa was startled by that. "I didn't say that…"

Olivia was nervous again. "But you're a lot older…that's going to be weird…"

Kekoa narrowed her eyes as she stared at Olivia. "I'm 38 years old. I'm not exactly a grandmother, Liv…"

Swallowing, Olivia knew she should just stop now, but the idea of Kekoa dating this… _girl_ was making her panicky. "But she's got to be at least in her early 20's. That's more then a 10 year difference…"

Kekoa was getting annoyed at this. Placing her hands on her hips, she just stared intently at Liv. "And your point is?"

_Stop Liv! Stop while you still have your dignity still intact…_

Taking a breath, Olivia did her best to calm herself. "Look, I just don't want you to get into any kind of trouble. You just met her…you don't know a thing about this girl…"

"What's this really about?" Kekoa whispered fiercely. She didn't want the kids to hear them arguing.

"You know what? Forget I said a thing…" She was about to turn around when Kekoa grabbed her arm. She felt herself being dragged into the room. Kekoa closed the door slight so they could hear the kids just in case but giving Liv and herself enough privacy.

"What the hell is going on with you?" Kekoa said trying to keep her voice down.

"Nothing! Just drop it! If you want to date her, go ahead…" Liv said just as quietly.

"Thanks for giving me permission! Not that it's any of your business who I date…"

Olivia knew she was acting like a fool, but the idea of Kekoa with someone other then her was making her jealous.

Closing her eyes, Olivia pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'm sorry…" she said softly. Kekoa instantly felt guilty.

"It's ok…look, I just said she was cute. I didn't say I was gonna actually date her. I'm not going to marry her or anything…" Kekoa took Liv into her arms.

Sighing and feeling like a complete idiot, Olivia just nodded. She wrapped her arms around Keko and the two stood there completely content.

"I'm sorry…" Liv whispered again. She could feel the tears ready to fall. Keko gave her a comforting squeeze.

Olivia pulled back but didn't step out of the embrace. Sniffing, Olivia looked away. Kekoa looked at her with concern in her eyes.

"You're crying…" Kekoa reached up with a gentle hand to wipe a tear that had fallen. "I'm not mad at you…a little confused but not mad…" she said gently.

Sniffing again, Olivia's hands went up to Keko's shoulders. She fiddled with the collar of Keko's shirt.

"It's not that..." Liv said softly.

"Then what is it?"

Olivia chose her words carefully. "I guess…I'm a little scared that I'm gonna lose you…." It wasn't the whole truth but it was close enough.

Of all the things that she could have said, Kekoa was not ready for that one. "What? Why would you lose me?"

Shrugging, Olivia buried her face in the crook of Keko's neck. "Sweetheart, you think I'm going to leave you if I date?" she felt Olivia nod.

Kekoa didn't know what to say to that. Keko cupped Olivia's face and stared gently into her eyes.

"Honey, there is no way you're ever gonna lose me. If the woman I'm with doesn't get what you and I have, then they're not worth my time. For 23 years you've been the only constant thing in my life – not including my family. There's no way in hell I'm about to give you up. Ok? You, me…that's all I need…"

Kekoa gently kissed Liv's forehead then wrapped her in her arms again. "Besides, I'm too old for any young thang to take an interest in me." Kekoa teased.

Olivia laughed quietly. "Yeah, you're right. You've got too many hanging parts on you…" Kekoa laughed.

"So we're ok?" Keko asked softly. She felt Olivia nod. "Good. Now, I finally caught on to your little plan…"

Olivia raised her head and stared at Keko. "You not going to take care of that frog, are you?" Seeing the small smile on Olivia's face gave her the answer.

"Malu's a smart guy. He knows you can't even take care of a plant, let alone a frog…" Olivia and Kekoa laughed out loud.

"I'm busted aren't I?" Kekoa just smiled. The two were quiet for a moment.

"Thank you…" Liv said softly. Winking, Kekoa just took her hand and led her back out into the living room.

The three kids had fallen asleep. Kekoa and Liv looked at each other and smiled. "Bedroom," they said at the same time.

Olivia picked up Lani while Kekoa managed to get Ben and Morgan. The two gently laid the three onto Kekoa's bed and tucked them in. They stood to the side and just watched them sleep. Olivia wrapped her arm around Kekoa's waist as Keko draped an arm over Liv's shoulders.

Olivia tried to hide her yawn but kekoa just shook her head and smiled. Motioning for Liv to follow her, Kekoa made her way to the recliner that was in the corner of the room. Olivia lightly pushed Kekoa into it and climbed on top.

Keko laughed but just held Olivia as she settled in her arms. Liv reached down and pulled on the lever. Kekoa tenderly kissed the top of Olivia's head then settled more comfortably in the recliner.

They five slept peacefully.


	4. Confusion part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except for the Makana family.

It was late when Malu and his wife, Lynn finally made it to Kekoa's place. They had knocked but when they got no answer, Malu pulled out the spare key from his pocket and let themselves into the darkened apartment.

They noticed that the TV was still on and that a plate of pizza sat on the coffee table. Malu and Lynn looked at each other and smiled, "Ben…" they both said at the same time. They quietly tidied up then tip toed to Keko's room.

Lynn was the first to see the sleeping forms. She covered her mouth as she watched her kids sleep. But what made her smile brightly was the sight of Keko and Olivia curled up on the recliner in each other's arms.

"Well… _hello_ there…," Malu said quietly as he noticed his sister and Liv. Lynn elbowed her husband and pressed her fingers to her lips. She gave him a stern look.

" _You_ stop that…" she whispered fiercely. She had a deep suspicion that there was something more between the two women. She was wise not to air out her thoughts with the rest of the family knowing that Kekoa would never hear the end of it.

Malu just winced and rubbed his bruised stomach. He held up his hands in surrender then quickly kissed Lynn on the cheek. She rolled her eyes at him and motioned for Malu to follow her to the living room.

They collapsed onto the couch and settled back and relaxed. Lynn sighed.

"What?" Malu asked curiously. He gathered his wife up into his arms and smiled gently. He knew his wife well - the two met while they were at summer camp when they were eight years old. They started out as friends then as time passed, their friendship grew into something more. 30 years and 3 kids later, they were still utterly in love with each other.

Lynn contemplated whether or not to tell her husband about her suspicions. "Lynn?" Malu asked tenderly. Taking a breath, Lynn decided tell him.

"Well…," she begun slowly. "Haven't you ever noticed the two of them when they're together?" Malu wasn't sure what to say. He didn't realize that Lynn had noticed it too.

"Now don't you dare think about lying to me Malu. You'd have to dead not to see it…"

Malu tried desperately to figure out a way to tell her. But he had promised his baby sister all those years ago that he wouldn't say a word.

"Look, sweetheart…it's complicated…" he stammered. How the heck was he supposed to be honest with the woman he loved when he gave his word to his sister?

Knowing her husband must have given his word, Lynn knew it was time to let it go…for now. Resting a hand on his chest, she leaned over and kissed his check. "I understand. I won't say a word to the others. Just…just be careful. Ok?" She looked up worriedly at her husband.

Malu smiled in relief. He kissed the tip of Lynn's nose and she giggled. "Knew I kept you around for something!" Lynn playfully swatted Malu. They kissed each other softly until they heard tiny little feet pad out of the bedroom.

They broke apart to see little Ipolani rub her sleepy eyes, her hair all a mess. The two adults smiled tenderly to see their youngest make her way to them.

"Hello sweetheart. Did you have a good nap?" Lynn asked as she gently picked up her daughter. She nodded tiredly and snuggled in her mother's arms. Lani smiled contentedly as she felt her mother caress her back.

Malu kissed the back of his daughters head and wrapped an arm around his wife and watched the two together. He couldn't have imagined that his life would turn out this way. He only wished his baby sister would be one day as lucky as he was.

"Mommy…daddy says we can keep Kermit…" the little girl stated sleepily. _Uh oh…_ Malu thought as Lynn raised a fine eyebrow his way. Smiling sheepishly, he pointed in the direction of the tank.

"I love you honey…" Malu said weakly. Lynn just gave him 'the look'. He was in big trouble when they got home….

40 minutes later, the other two children made there way quietly out of Keko's room. They dragged themselves to the couch and planted themselves in between their parents.

"Is your aunt awake yet?" Malu asked Ben. He just shook his head and rested his head against his dad's arm. Smiling, Malu maneuvered his arm so he could wrap it around both Ben and Morgan. "We have to get going soon so don't get to comfortable," he said gently.

* * *

It was dark out when Kekoa began to stir. She was having one of her dreams again about Olivia. Only this time, it felt  _very_ real. Keko felt a body covering hers and wrapped her arms around their waist just as the body snuggled closer to Keko. Unknown arms wrapped around Kekoa as well. She sighed and Keko felt the warm breath against her neck. Kekoa shivered.

Keko dreamt that she was holding Olivia in her arms as Liv slowly awoke. She'd smile up at her and gently kiss Kekoa awake. Kekoa sighed contentedly. Instinctively, Keko turned her head slightly towards the unknown body.

Kekoa felt soft lips brush against hers tenderly and felt the other woman sigh. _God…this feels so real…_ she thought. Inhaling, Kekoa finally opened her eyes. She had to blink a few times at what she saw.

 _Olivia?…_ Kekoa couldn't finish her thought as she felt Olivia press her lips against her own. She had to close her eyes as the feeling of Olivia's lips against hers was too much to handle and she moaned raggedly.

Kekoa's eyes snapped open and her hands went to Olivia's arms which were around her neck. Keko broke off the kiss and desperately tried to reason with Liv as she was trying to find Kekoa's lips again.

"Liv! …wake up swee-…" again Kekoa couldn't finish as Olivia's lips finally found hers again. Kekoa whimpered as she felt Liv's tongue against her lips. Kekoa knew if she tried to open her mouth to say something, Liv would slip her tongue in.

Pulling away again, Kekoa took a hold of Olivia's face in her hands and broke the kiss. "Olivia! Open your eyes! Olivia, please wake up!" Kekoa begged raggedly. She slightly shook her and that seemed to work.

Olivia opened her eyes slowly and Kekoa could see the smokiness of their kiss still in her eyes. "Liv…" Kekoa croaked. That seemed to snap Olivia's attention into place. Liv was now fully awake and realization was now washing over.

They were both breathing hard and Kekoa had Olivia at arms length with her hands on her shoulders. Keko's heart was beating so fast she was getting dizzy from it. Olivia held onto Kekoa's forearms for dear life.

"What…what happened?" Olivia asked breathlessly. Kekoa didn't get to answer when Malu decided to pick that moment to walk in on them.

"Hey…you guys awa -…," Malu stood frozen. Olivia and Kekoa looked like a deer caught in headlights. Their current position didn't help the matter at all. Olivia was straddling Kekoa who had her hands on her shoulders. Nope, it didn't look good at all.

Malu, wide eyed, swallowed and quickly turned on his heel and left. "Mal! Malu…wait!" Kekoa and Liv both scrambled to get up off of the recliner. Kekoa sat up quickly causing the recliner to shift into the sitting position abruptly. This jerked Kekoa forward, making Olivia slip off of Kekoa's lap.

Keko quickly pulled Olivia up and was brought face to face with her chest. Olivia had to steady herself and grabbed the only thing she could – Keko's head. They both heard Lynn's voice.

"What in the world is the matter with you Malu…for crying out loud…," Lynn froze in the door way with Malu right behind her.

She twisted her head around just in time to see Lynn and Malu scramble out of there.

"Wait! It's not what you think…ow!" Kekoa and Olivia had managed to get off the recliner in one fluid motion only to have Kekoa hit her tow on her dresser. Olivia turned around and grabbed Kekoa as she hopped out of the room.

"Lynn! Lu! Wait! Please!" Olivia begged as she dragged Kekoa out of the room. They saw Lynn and Malu exchange uncomfortable glances at each other. The children were looking wildly from their parents to Kekoa and Olivia.

Holding up her hands, Kekoa pleaded for Malu and Lynn to believe them. "Malu…it's really not what you think it is…I swear!"

"Nothing happened…" Olivia stated from behind Kekoa. Keko whipped her head around and stared at Liv. Hurt and disappointment flashed within her. Turning back to her brother, Kekoa spoke slowly.

"Yeah…nothing happened." Her brother caught the flash of pain in his sister's eyes and nodded slightly. Kekoa looked down at her hands and realized she had been shaking. She clenched her hands to her sides and willed herself to stop trembling.

"We…uh…we better get going Lynn. See you two at Kai's place for breakfast next week…," Malu said as he grabbed Lynn's hand. Knowing she had no other choice, Lynn let herself get pulled out of Kekoa's apartment.

Then the two women were left alone. Olivia was at odds with herself, looking every where but at Keko who was just as confused as she was. Kekoa rubbed the back of her neck in frustration.

"So…" she said awkwardly. Olivia shuffled her feet and finally met Keko's eyes.

"I better go…" Liv said quickly. She needed to get the hell out of there before she made bigger fool out of herself. Keko saw what she was trying to do.

Kekoa's lips thinned and she scowled. _If you want to run…fine…_ she thought childishly. "I'll drive you…" She grabbed her jacket and keys and went to the door. Olivia spun around with her hands on her hips.

"I'll walk home," she demanded.

"It's 10:30 at night! You crazy?" She bellowed. They stood a couple of feet apart just glaring at each other. Olivia just crossed her arms over her chest as they stared each other down. Whatever happened just a few hours ago was long forgotten. Frustration and confusion was slowly wearing these two friends down.

Clenching her keys in her hand, Kekoa stormed out of her apartment, slamming the door behind her and headed for her car. Olivia just closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. She could feel the migraine that was slowly creeping through her.

Tiredly, Olivia opened the door and quietly shut and locked it. She mentally prepared herself - she knew that Kekoa would be waiting for her by the car.

Olivia sighed. She was more confused then ever.

* * *

Kekoa paced by her car waiting for Olivia to emerge from her building.

Keko mumbled to herself as she walked up and down the side walk. She made the mistake of licking her dry lips and nearly missed a step. Keko could still taste Olivia on her lips.

 _God…she tastes so good…_ "Stop it!" she whispered to herself. Shoving her hands in her hair, Keko continued to mumble and curse as she paced up and down the street.

"She's driving _me_ crazy…bloody woman! …" Kekoa didn't realize that Olivia was slowly making her way over to her and Liv smiled softly as she heard Keko's voice.

On the way down from Keko's apartment, Olivia had enough time to cool down and she now realized how childish she was being.

Olivia stopped behind Keko just as she was turning around. Keko froze as the two stood quietly facing each other. Olivia's smile faded as she saw the tired expression on her friends face. She wanted to apologize but pride stopped her.

Keko shook her head and opened the passenger door for Olivia. Liv climbed in silently and waited for Keko. She climbed in and started the car. They both were quiet on the way to Olivia's apartment.

Olivia knew what she had said to Malu was upsetting Keko - she kept her eyes on the road and her arms were tight as a sailors knot as she drove, her jaw clenched and unclenched itself over and over. Liv hadn't seen Keko like this in years.

The last time Olivia saw her friend like this was back in high school _._

_Nadia, one of the many 'privileged', had made the mistake of harassing her in gym class about her mother and her drinking problem. By the end of that period the high school grape vine trickled down to Kekoa. She stormed out of her class and went straight to the change rooms where Olivia and the girl were in._

_Kekoa kicked open the door scaring majority of the people in there and made her way to Olivia and Nadia. Everyone there backed away quickly when they saw the look in Kekoa's eyes. No one ever dared mess with any of Kekoa's friends. Especially Olivia._

_Nadia rolled her eyes as she saw Keko coming her way. "Oh look…it's your girlfriend…" she said loudly with a smirk. Everyone in school knew that Kekoa was gay and that she and Olivia were close._

" _Shut up. She's not my girlfriend…" Olivia said defending her self._

" _You wouldn't know the difference if it hit you in the face. Apologize…" Kekoa spat as she stood over Nadia. Rolling her eyes again, Nadia got up and dropped her towel and began to change as if she didn't notice Kekoa. She was a good 2 inches taller then Keko._

_Jaw clenched and eyes narrowing into slits, Kekoa took a step towards Nadia. Eyes widening, Olivia realized that if she didn't stop her, Kekoa would be in hot water. Olivia shoved on her shirt and jeans and jammed on her shoes forgetting her socks and quickly jumped in between the two of them._

" _Let's just get out of here, ok?" Liv begged. Keeping her eyes still on Nadia, Kekoa just nodded silently. Slightly relived, Olivia gently nudged Kekoa back._

" _I have a fabulous idea. Why don't you two find a little whole in the wall bar so she and her mom can have some real quality bonding time? You'd like that wouldn't you Olivia?" Nadia said with sarcastic sweetness as she brushed her hair. The girls that had bravely stayed in the change room all gasped quietly._

_All the color faded from Olivia's face and she had to close her eyes in embarrassment. Kekoa watched as Olivia fought the urge to cry. Kekoa felt an uncontrollable surge of fierce anger deep within her._

_Out of no where, Kekoa violently shoved Nadia up against the lockers causing a loud crash. Nadia, with eyes wide, dropped her brush and whimpered in fear._

" _How about I rip you apart and feed you to the sharks!" Kekoa bellowed. Olivia desperately tried to get Keko to let go. She wrapped an arm around Keko's waist and the other under Keko's arm and pulled._

" _KEKO! LET HER GO! PLEASE LET HER GO!" It wasn't that she was afraid of Keko's anger. Liv knew Keko would never hurt her. It was a fear_ _for_ _her friend that made Olivia want to stop Keko from making a horrible mistake._

" _Not until she apologizes to you!" Keko grunted as Olivia wrapped an arm around her neck and yanked. Some of the girls in the change room helped Liv either push or pull at Keko. Finally stumbling back, Keko just grunted and breathed heavily._

_Grabbing her neck and grasping for air, Nadia just sized up Keko. "FREAK!" Nadia screamed. Kekoa stepped forward and this time the girls were able to hold her back. Olivia moved between Nadia and Keko and rested a gentle hand on Keko's chest._

_Shaking her head, Olivia spoke quietly. "No Keko. Please, let's just get out of here…."_

" _Not until she apologizes," said stubbornly. Keko wasn't going to let that rich bitch disrespect Olivia or her mom, even though Ms. Benson was in a drunken state 95 percent of the time._

" _Yeah! Listen to your girlfriend, you barbarian freak! My father is going to hear about this!" This aggravated Keko._

_Leaning closely so that Nadia could see nothing but Keko's anger, "you do that! I'll show you both what a barbarian really looks like!" She snarled. Olivia pushed Keko away from Nadia and forcefully ushered her friend out of the change room quickly._

_Turning around as soon as they were in the quiet hallway, Keko apologized for her caveman reaction. "Liv…I'm sorry. She had no right-…" Kekoa wasn't able to finish since Olivia threw her arms around her neck._

" _Thank you," Liv said softly. Keko felt a tear run down her neck and knew that what Nadia said affected Olivia. Keko wrapped her arms around her friend's waist and gave her a squeeze._

_Keko shrugged. "No problem. My pleasure…" she pulled back to see Liv giggling. Just then they heard the muffled voice of Keko's English teacher behind a closed door._

" _What! She told me she was off to the washroom! Wait till I get my hands on that…that…"_

_Olivia grabbed Kekoa's hand dragged her down the hall. "Come on! Let's get out of here!" The two ran down the hall as fast as they could, hand in hand. Olivia turned the corner and went straight to the stairs that led to the roof._

" _Olivia! We're gonna get in trouble!" She didn't care that she was skipping class but Keko didn't want to see Liv in any kind of trouble._

_Olivia ignored her as the took the stairs two at a time, still managing to hold onto each other's hands. Once up there, Liv threw the door open and dragged Keko with her._

" _God…" she said breathlessly. Still not letting go, Olivia led Keko to their spot on the roof. It was secluded enough that no one could find them. Sliding to the ground and taking Keko with her, Olivia just laid back and placed her hands behind her head and stared at the sky._

_Keko rested on her elbow staring at Olivia with a concerned look. Closing her eyes Olivia took in a deep breath._

" _Fine…go back to class…" she said a bit dejectedly. She didn't want to be alone but she knew Kekoa's parents wouldn't be too happy with their daughter. Keko on the other hand didn't really care what happened to her. All she cared about was Olivia._

_Sighing, Keko just turned on her back and copied Olivia by placing her hands behind her head. The two teens laid there looking up at the sky._

" _I'm gonna change the world…" Olivia said out of the blue. Kekoa craned her head around and simply stared. She knew that her friend could do anything she put her mind to. So this didn't surprise her one bit._

" _Yeah…you're gonna kick ass…" Keko said with a grin. Olivia laughed and took a playful swing at her friend. The two laughed as they wrestled each other for a minute only to have Olivia straddle Keko and gently stare down at her._

_Keko sighed contentedly and looked up at her friend. She would never get tired of just watching Olivia. She smiled and again, placed her hands behind her head._

" _I'm serious. When we graduate, I'm gonna do something with my life that not even Nadia De Luca can insult." Liv said seriously. In all honesty, Olivia already knew what she was going to do – join NYPD._

" _I know," Kekoa said sincerely. Although they had discussed possible careers, Keko knew that Olivia was going to go straight to the police academy. Although Keko herself wasn't as passionate about the force, she also wanted to join but SWAT was her love. All that action._

_Smiling gently at her, Olivia tenderly reached out and cupped Kekoa's cheek. They stayed that way for a minute or two. Kekoa was in heaven and she was sure that if she were to die right then and there, she'd go with no regrets._

_Just then the doors to the roof ripped open. Startled, the two teens scrambled closer to each other and Keko placed a hand to her lips. Olivia held on to Keko for dear life._

' _Shit…we're in deep shit…' Liv thought. The area that they were in was closed off enough but it was only a matter of time before they were found. Keko peeked over the edge of the roof._

_Pulling out the keys to her car, she handed them over to Olivia. "My car is down there…just climb down and drive…"_

_Shaking her head furiously, Olivia shoved the keys back at Keko. Grabbing both of Olivia's hands, Keko gave the keys back. She reached up and held Olivia's face gently and softly, "Go on…I'll be ok. It's me they're looking for…just go. I can't get out of this if I'm worried about you…I'll be fine. I promise…"_

_Olivia didn't want to leave her to take the fall. The teacher and principle were closing in on them and if Liv didn't get out of there, they were both screwed._

_Quickly grabbing Kekoa's face, Olivia planted a kiss on her lips. Keko was startled as she watched Liv carefully climb down the drain pipe and safely make it to her car._

' _wow…' Keko thought with a dreamy smile._

" _THERE SHE IS!" screamed a voice. Keko felt herself get jerked up by the collar. "You little punk. Thought you could get away?" Ms. Rowland demanded. She roughly dragged 17 year old Keko out of her hiding place._

" _This is the only time you've ever found me!" Keko shot back defiantly. She hated her English teacher with a passion. She was like an adult version of Nadia...but uglier._

_Eyes widened. "YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SHIT!" Ms. Rowland grabbed the front of Keko's shirt and roughed her up. The principle finally stepped up._

" _Anita…I think that's enough…" he stammered. The pudgy little principle was afraid of Ms. Rowland…hell, everyone was afraid of her._

" _Well, look who finally grew some balls!" Keko smirked. Mr. Whistler turned a deep shade of red. 'I'd be lucky if he just dropped dead…' Keko thought. Ms. Rowland didn't like that last comment and violently yanked Kekoa back by the collar._

" _Watch it! You're already in deep shit. The cops will be on their way…"_

" _Cops? What the hell for?" Keko demanded._

" _For assaulting Nadia De Luca, or have you forgotten?" Ms. Rowland said with a smug on her face._

_Clearing his throat, Mr. Whistler straightened out his tie. "Anita…take her down to my office. We'll let the police handle it from there. Ms. Rowland huffed but did as she was told. Yanking Kekoa towards the door, Keko hand no choice but to follow._

_All too soon, Keko was being shoved into a hard plastic chair outside the principles office._

" _Sit there and shut your damn mouth. Got it?" Without waiting for an answer, Ms. Rowland stormed into the principles office. The secretary looked up briefly and snapped her gum then went back to her typing._

_The door to the reception area opened quietly and Keko looked up in surprise._

" _I thought I told you to get out of here?" She whispered desperately. Olivia shook her head._

" _I did. But I couldn't leave without getting you help…" Liv turned back at the officer that followed her in. Eyes widened in shock._

" _Abegaila! What are you doing here?" Keko's sister just gave her a stern look._

" _I saw Olivia speeding like crazy in your car. What the hell happened now?" Abby placed her hands on her hips and glared between Olivia and her sister. Neither teen was able to reply when the door to the principle's office opened._

" _Ah…there you are. Officer, I'd like to press charges…" Looks like Ms. Rowland hand no idea the police officer was._

_Abegaila's head slowly turned to look at her sister and glared._

" _You are so dead when we get home…" She whispered as she followed Ms. Rowland and Mr. Whistler into the office._

_Swallowing nervously, Kekoa and Olivia sat outside quietly. Both wondering what was going to happen…_

Olivia blinked as the memory faded slowly away. She realized they were nearing her apartment.

"I never did thank you…" Liv said. It was true; she didn't get a chance to thank Kekoa for what she did that day. Although the charges were dropped Keko was grounded for 3 months for her stunt. Olivia didn't get away that easily either. She was grounded for a month and was given dish duty for the duration of the punishment.

Keko glanced over confused. Smiling gently, Olivia simply just said, "the roof." As if finally realizing, Keko just nodded and turned her attention at parking the car.

She missed those years of being wild and reckless but never crossing the line. She wondered where those years went.

Keko stopped the car and killed the ignition and sat there quietly. A million questions were hanging in the air between them. Unable to take it anymore, Olivia reached for the handle and was ready to open the car door.

"It was nothing?" Keko asked softly staring out the window. Olivia sighed and sat back and hung her head.

"It was nothing…" Keko repeated.

"What _did_ you want me to say?" Olivia pleaded. The more she tried to figure out the situation, the more she felt confused.

Sighing and rubbing her tired eyes, she shrugged, completely defeated. The sight made Olivia's heart break.

"Nothing. You're right. I'm sorry…" again, there was silence.

"You better get going." Olivia nodded and slowly got out. Before she shut the door, she poked her head in and smiled tenderly at her friend.

"Drive safe…"

Nodding, she watched carefully as Liv ran up to the entrance of her building. She turned back and waved then quickly disappeared from sight. Kekoa sat there for a moment. Sighing loudly, she rested her forehead on the steering wheel.

She needed to get the hell outta here. Get some fresh air. Sitting up straight, she jammed her key into the ignition and peeled out of her parking spot causing some heads to turn as she drove by. There was only one place she could go to, to find what she was looking for.

* * *

She leaned over the edge of the railing and let the cool wind hit her face. For as long as she could remember, she had always loved coming here. It gave her some sorta peace, if you will, watching the boats sail by. But her favorite time to come here was at night. Everything seemed more serene then. Funny thing was she was terrified of the water. Odd how the one thing can give you so much peace can also paralyze you with fear in an instant.

 _Story of my life_ , Keko thought sarcastically. Keko ran a hand through her hair and wondered how it had come to this? Everything was great when they were younger but as they got older, the frustrations of life began to weigh on them.

Sure they could blame work, but that was only part of it. Blame it on getting older too. But there was something that went deeper. Kekoa knew that being attracted to your _straight_ best friend was one thing, but falling in love with them…that's a whole other thing.

Kekoa sat on the hood of her car and stared at the night sky, wondering if the answers were there. She wished things were how they were when they were young. They could talk about anything without feeling weird with each other.

Now a days they were losing their tempers more frequently and Keko wasn't sure why. All Kekoa wanted was for things to go back the way they were before.

She rubbed a hand over her tired face and looked at her watch. _11:45_ …sighing, Keko straightened herself up and trudged to the driver's side of the car and climbed in. As she drove, she tried to figure out a way to get them back to how they used to be.

No matter what she came up with, the end was always the same. She unlocked her door and quietly stepped inside. She tiredly made her way to the couch and fell onto it. There was no way she could go back into her room. Not after… _that kiss._

Shaking her head, sleep was creeping up and slowly taking control. Her last thought before she passed out completely was one that broke her heart…

_Just let her go…._

* * *

_11:45 pm_ flashed on the clock. Olivia sighed and rolled over again. A hand went to her lips and gently outlined where Kekoa's were just a few hours ago.

She was at a loss. She enjoyed that kiss… _admit it Benson. You loved every micro second of that kiss. Hell, you want to do it again! And soon! You can't stop thinking about it!_

"Damn it!" Olivia sat up and grabbed her pillow and punched it. She sat there for what seemed an eternity. _Just admit it Benson…people do it every day…_

 _You're gay…_ Olivia's mind stated. Shaking her head, she got up and stumbled into the bathroom and ran cold water. She splashed some on her face and stared at her reflection in the mirror. _You're gay…_

_You're gay…_

_You're gay…_

_You're gay Olivia…_

She stared hard at herself, willing herself to say those two words. Instead, tears welled up and slid down her check. She looked away disgusted with herself. Sitting down on the edge of the tub, she wondered if she'd ever be able to say those words.

_George…I need to talk to George…_

Hopefully he'd have the answers. She hoped he did.

* * *

Monday morning came to damn fast. Olivia hit the snooze button a little too hard. Grunting, she staggered into the bathroom and got herself ready for work.

Keko didn't have a good night either. She had fallen asleep on the couch in a sitting position which didn't help her back. Her mind also kept replaying that damn kiss over and over.

Their day wasn't going to get any better either.

"Benson! Stabler! Head over to St. Mary's hospital. 12 year old was just brought in with multiple contusions… "

 _Christ…it's not even 10 am yet and we're already fighting the monsters…_ Olivia thought miserably. Elliot's eyes followed his partner closely. He watched as she marched out of the squad room and all he could do was follow.

_Something's not right…_

Mean while, a crabby Sergeant Makana walked into the training centre and tossed her duffle bag onto her desk.

"Something on your mind?" said a voice behind her. Spinning around, Kekoa saw that it was just Captain Rosco. He was leaning against the door frame with his hands in his pocket with a smile on his face.

"What the hell are you smiling about?" Keko asked grumpily. She turned back to check the messages that were on her desk then tossed them back. She heard the Captain laugh quietly behind her.

"What? What the hell is so damn funny?"

Captain Rosco was saved from replying when the bells went off. Sighing, Keko's plans for a quiet Monday were ruined. Grabbing her gear, Keko and the Captain quickly made their way to the truck as the desk clerk handed them the info they needed.

"Come on…looks like the natives are getting restless…" Captain took a look at the sheet then began barking order's to his team as they quickly got their gear and headed for the truck.

"Ok children! We got a barricaded suspect, and possible hostages. We don't know how many are in there. I'm gonna need two sniper elements…"

"I'll take that Captain…" Keko volunteered as they buckled in.

Shaking his head the Captain had other plans. "No can do. I need you as my element leader on this one. Matthews, Bosh you two will be my sniper elements. Denton you're scout. Spider, I need you as rear containment. Lancelot and Spike, your assault elements…"

As he dished out the orders, Captain Rosco glanced at his friend with concern. Keko was awfully quiet.

"We'll be using less lethal weapons. No real ammo people. I'll be the negotiator for this one." Everyone nodded and got ready for the drop off.

"One other thing ladies, Team 2 will be assisting us as well…" a loud chorus of moans and groans could be heard in the truck. Holding up his hand, he smiled. "I know, I know. But we need all the help we can get."

"Yeah right! We better Ninja's then those pansies!" Spike joked from the back. Ninja's, as the unit so fondly called it, was the nickname they used for the first entry team.

"We'll see…" the Captain said still concerned about his top Element leader. He reached out and placed a gentle hand on Kekoa's shoulder. She looked up and smiled softly.

 _Lord, watch over us…_ Captain silently prayed. They were nearing the building. Everyone had their game faces on. They were now entering unknown hell. Thoughts of Olivia would have to wait.


	5. Awareness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so very sorry for the delay. For a brief moment, I had lost my joy to continue writing. I am very slowly working my way back to updating all my stories. Please continue to be patient. 
> 
> **this chapter has been slightly edited then what I had posted on another site** 
> 
> This chapter we're introducing Kim Greylek. If you've been watching the show, you'll already know who she is. Anyways, enjoy. I'll be working on the next chapter for All I Want so keep your eyes open!
> 
> I own nothing.

"BOOYA!" Everyone just groaned.

The SWAT team were packing up or cleaning their equipment. Some sat by their lockers and joked around while some sat alone and reflected on the day's events. Kekoa sat and watched her team.

"Dude do you have to do that all the time?" Lance asked as he threw his shirt at Spike. Every one laughed as the two playfully threw insults at each other.

"Hell ya! I'm alive and in one piece. That's all I care about!" Spike said with a grin. They were heading out, ready to hit the bar.

"Yo, Boss? You comin?" Spike asked. Snapped out of her internal musings, Kekoa shook her head and smiled sadly.

"Nah…you guys go ahead." Shrugging, Spike sauntered out with the rest of them. Alone, Kekoa sighed and buried her head in her hands.

It was a tough call. A mother had just lost her 5 year old daughter to cancer and her 7 month old was diagnosed with the same form of cancer. Her insurance wasn't going to cover the cost of the treatment. In other words, the doctors weren't able to help the little girl or her mother.

_I'd go crazy too if I were her…_ Kekoa sadly thought. Kekoa couldn't shake the images that flooded her mind…

" _YOU'RE NOT A MOTHER ARE YOU?" Ms. Danto screamed. She held her screaming baby close to her as she whipped around her gun. The SWAT members backed off slightly and a few hostages whimpered._

_Holding up a hand in surrender, Keko pleaded gently. "No ma'am, I don't have the honour of being a mother…"_

" _Then how the hell can you help me? Do you have the money to help my daughter? Do you have a cure for this? DO YOU?" Ms. Danto screamed again._

" _I wish I did. I wish I could make it just all go away. But Ms. Danto, you're daughter…"_

' _Maria' whispered Captain Rosco in her ear piece._

"… _your daughter Maria wouldn't have wanted you to do this. I'm sure she wouldn't want you to just give up…"_

" _YOU DIDN'T KNOW MY MARIA! SHE WAS AN ANGEL!"_

" _And that's why you can't do this Ms. Danto. Maria wouldn't want to see you so sad like this…" slowly inching her way forward, Keko prayed that the woman would see her inching closer._

_Ms. Danto paused to think about this. Fresh tears welled up in her eyes. A few of the patients in the room huddled closely together not knowing what Ms. Danto would do._

" _Ms. Danto let me help you. Please…put the gun down. Your little one needs you right now…" Keko reached up slowly and reached for the gun. Instead Ms. Danto looked at Keko and whispered as she held out her baby._

" _Please take care of her…" shoving the baby into Kekoa's arms the quickly took several steps back. Keko wasn't fast enough as Ms. Danto placed the gun to her temple and pulled the trigger._

" _NOOOOOO!" Kekoa heard herself scream. It was too late. The body of Ms. Danto fell to the floor with a horrifying thud._

_Shouts and screams could be heard. Keko just stood there hunched over the crying baby, her ears ringing. 'She shot herself…Jesus Christ, she shot herself…' Keko thought. She felt a pair of strong hands on her upper arms pulling her away._

" _Boss? Boss? Sarge, you alright?" Lance asked. Keko nodded but was lost in a haze._

Sitting alone in the locker room, Keko rubbed a hand down her tired face. She doubted she'd ever shake the feeling of empty despair, not after today. Sighing as she got up, Kekoa shut her locker door and grabbed her duffle bag.

The centre was almost empty, with a few in the training room and others writing up reports. She wanted to call Olivia but her confusion over her friend stopped her. Kekoa needed a drink – alone.

Walking out of the building, Keko stared at the world around her. She wondered how she had gotten to this point in her life.

She drove down to the nearest lesbian bar and walked in. Signalling for the bartender, Kekoa placed her order and sat on the nearest stool. The bartender slid her drink over to her and left her alone.

She wondered how Olivia was doing. Then she berated herself for think of her. Kekoa sighed loudly rubbed her tired eyes.

"Sounds like you've had a rough day…" the voice said behind Kekoa. She looked up to see a young blond haired beauty. The stranger smiled softly.

"You could say that…nice suit by the way," Kekoa smiled. The woman laughed softly.

"I take it you're a regular here?" The woman asked as she slid into the empty stool beside Keko. Nodding, Kekoa quietly sipped her beer. The woman eyed her companion.

"You know, it would help if I knew your name…" she said with a small playful smile. Keko glanced at her. She really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone especially this woman who seemed pretty adamant about talking to her.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you never to talk to strangers? Besides, I don't talk to cheerleaders…" Kekoa said, hoping her bad mood would sway the young woman. Apparently it didn't.

"Well, if I knew your name, you wouldn't be a stranger." She said with a flirtatious smile completely ignoring Keko's last comment.

"I guess you're out of luck, sweetheart. Because, I don't make it a habit of speaking to people I don't know." Kekoa went back to drinking her beer. She hoped this would end the conversation.

The other woman wasn't giving up without a fight. Straightening her self up, the young woman held out her hand.

"Kim Greylek" she stood there waiting. Kekoa turned and really looked at her for the first time. _Well then…if she wants to play…_ Keko thought as she glanced at the blond.

Swinging herself to face the woman, but not getting out of her seat, Kekoa grabbed her soft hand and shook it.

"Kekoa Makana." Kim smiled triumphantly and slid back into her seat.

She rested her elbows onto the counter and leaned closely into Keko and whispered, "I guess we're not strangers anymore…" she said with a smile as she stared into Keko's eyes.

Kekoa stared back, mesmerised. She smiled softly as she raised the beer to her mouth and spoke just as quietly, "I guess were not…"

* * *

"I've made a mistake…"

George sat listening to his friend. "Mistake?"

Nodding, Olivia crossed her legs and gripped the arm rests. All day, Elliot had been pestering her with questions. None of which Olivia could truthfully answer.

"Yeah…I've realized that I was wrong about how I felt…"

"Oh?" George, again, was surprised.

"17…" was all Olivia said. George must have looked a little confused so Olivia explained.

"We were about 17 years old when I first felt… _something_ …" Olivia felt as though she was out of breath as if she had been running all night but she also felt a rush of energy…excitement.

"Ah…I see." George smiled gently. When he agreed to see Olivia this morning, he wasn't too sure what to expect.

"I…I don't know how I could have missed something like that…" Olivia continued. She had woken up that morning feeling as if she were nearing a dead end but as she kept replaying events through out their friendship, especially the locker room /roof incident; it had become so very obvious. She had always used their friendship as a barrier.

Olivia guessed it was because of her strained relationship with her mother, that she was never really able to connect with anyone. And if things got serious, she'd bail out.

"Olivia?" She snapped her head up and blushed. George had been asking her something and she hadn't been listening.

"I'm sorry…what were you asking?" George smiled gently.

"I asked how you felt but I suppose, judging by the look on your face, it was something good." Olivia blushed but she smiled and nodded.

"It was the first time I kissed her…I don't even know why I did it. Impulse I guess…"

"You buried it away…"

Nodding Olivia sighed. "Yeah, until last night…" she closed her eyes. She still couldn't believe she had done it. But she didn't regret any of it.

"You kissed your friend again?"

Taking a breath Olivia nodded. "And it wasn't just an impulse kiss. It was one of those kisses that melted you from the inside out…"

"And now you're not exactly sure what's going on anymore," George said it like a statement rather then a question. Olivia nodded again.

"What do you think I should do?"

George thought for a moment then sighed. He leaned forward in his chair and smiled sadly.

"You know I can't answer that Liv. That's up to you…"

Sighing, Olivia knew that. Question was; did she want to do something about it.

"Olivia, you need to be able to live with the decision you make…"

Pinching the bridge of her nose and shutting her eyes tightly, Olivia nodded. "I know, I know…" she dropped her hand and leaned forward to rest her forearms on her thighs.

Getting up, Olivia straightened her jacket. "Thanks George. I think I'm going to take the rest of the day off. Take a walk or something…"

He nodded and smiled gently. "That sounds like a good idea. I'll be here if you need me…"

Nodding, Olivia left the office. _Where do I start?_ She thought as she left the building. There was only one other person she could talk to about this.

_It's been awhile, but she'll be glad to see me…._ Olivia got in her car and drove off.

* * *

"A cheerleader from DC, eh?" Kekoa took a long swig of her beer. She heard the quiet laughter coming from Kim.

"Yeah…I…uh…I need a change…" Kekoa heard the discomfort in her voice but didn't say anything. She watched Kim play with the label on her beer bottle with a distant look on her face. Keko felt for the young woman.

"You forgot to leave you're suit there?" Keko said in an attempt to get Kim smiling again. It worked since Kim looked up and gave her a bright grin.

"What…you don't like it? It's Armani…" Kim teased. Kekoa laughed and shook her head.

"A cheerleader in a...," Kekoa squinted a little as she took in Kim's suit, "...3 hundred dollar suit? Someone must have really deep pockets…"

Kim feigned hurt but quickly recovered. "Well, judging by those wrinkles, you don't look so hot yourself. And I don't mean the ones in your shirt, honey," Kim winked to take the sting out of her words.

Keko winced playfully and placed a hand over her heart. "Ouch. You've wounded me…" she said with a husky chuckle.

Looking at her watch, Kim sighed. "Care to walk me to my car? I've got an early start tomorrow…" she asked hopefully. Scratching her chin, Keko thought about it.

"I'll think about," then she picked up her beer and drank. Kim playfully swatted Keko in the ribs causing Kekoa to spill some of her beer. "Hey!"

Kim laughed, "Serves you right grandma!"

"Grandma!" Keko followed Kim out of the bar and held out her arm to the young woman.

Smiling, Kim slipped a hand around Keko's strong arm and the quietly made their way to Kim's car.

As they neared her car, Keko let out a low whistle. "Exactly how much do cheerleaders make now a days?" Kim smiled uncomfortably and cleared her throat.

"My dad actually got it for me when I graduated law school…" Kim was turning a good shade of red. Even in the dark evening glow, Kekoa could easily see it.

"And how long ago was that?" Keko asked cheekily.

"Long enough. I don't kiss and tell, Miss Makana." Kim took out her keys and begun to unlock her door.

"Right. This coming from the woman that just spoke to a complete stranger…" Kekoa said with a playful smirk on her face. She shoved her hands into her jeans and waited patiently for Kim to get settled into the car.

Turning around after tossing in her leather attaché, Kim playfully crossed her arms over her chest and leaned into Keko and whispered seductively, "tell you what. Friday night. Same time, same place…then maybe I'll let you in on a few of my secrets. Maybe you could share some of yours…" Kim stood with her lips inches away from Kekoa's.

As if in a trance, Keko nodded slowly. "Good. See you then," Kim whispered with a sexy smile. Kim turned on her heel and slipped into the driver's seat leaving Kekoa struggling to breath. She waved as she started the engine and Kekoa stood back and watched the her drive off.

 Taking a gulp of breath, she walked to her car. She suddenly felt very tired. _Maybe I should call a cab…_ she glanced at her watch and almost groaned out loud. _10:30…ah screw it…_ Keko climbed in and started the car.

_Liv is close by. I'll crash there…_ Keko started the car and carefully drove to her friends apartment. No matter how much the argued and no matter how crazy Olivia drove her, Keko could always depend on her.

_Pray she doesn't have a date tonight…_

* * *

 

"So you see my dilemma?" Olivia sipped on her warm tea. From the moment she knocked on the door, she was greeted with open arms.

Alex slowly sipped on her coffee and thought for a moment. She had her legs tucked in underneath her as the two women sat on the sofa.

"First of all, I wish you could have told me sooner - all those years of flirting with each other…" Alex sighed dreamily. Liv just shook her head and laughed. "And second…yes, I see where you're coming from. But Liv, maybe you should sit down and just tell her. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Rejection for one…" Liv said miserably. Looking away, Olivia was utterly terrified of being rejected. She already knew what it felt like to receive it from her mother; she knew she wouldn't handle it well if Kekoa rejected her too.

"Olivia…we all go through that at some point in our lives…" Alex said gently. She knew very little about her friend's life and it saddened her. All these years of friendship and they never really spoke of their lives outside of work.

"Some more then others…" Liv said quietly. Alex wasn't sure what to say to that. They sat there in silence both lost in thought.

"What do I do, Alex? I feel so much for her…I don't want this to turn out to be just gratitude…"

"Gratitude for what? For over 20 years of friendship? For being there for you? For loving you, just for you? Olivia those are the best reasons to see where this will go. Don't hide from that. "

Sighing heavily, Olivia got up and walked over to the window and stared out. "But how do I know for sure? I don't want to lose her friendship...it's the one thing that's kept me sane all these years."

Getting up and making her way to Olivia and stood next to her. "All those years in witness protection got me so paranoid. I was so sure I was going to go nuts but thinking about you…Elliot, Don…it helped ease the pain. Even thinking about Munch's damn conspiracy theories helped. Olivia, I know exactly what it is you're going through.

"If I hadn't had you guys to think about, I would have lost my mind. Then when I got the chance to come back to testify…I was so elated. Even if it was for a short time and even if it would probably kill me, if not physically but emotionally, it was worth it. Just the chance to see you all again…it was enough for me. It had to be.

"That kind of friendship, that kind of love, it just doesn't go away, Olivia."

Olivia wanted to believe that so badly. But years with her mother taught her never to want or expect anything from anyone. Especially from the ones you loved. Alex knew that a denial was coming so she held up a hand to stop it.

"Olivia, anyone with half a brain can see she's feeling the same way about you." That took Liv by surprise. She snapped her head around and stared at Alex.

"I can see that you've completely missed that one…" she said with a ghost of a smile. Alex left Olivia there looking like a fish out of water and headed for the sofa.

"Alex…that's not funny…" Liv said slowly. Her heart just kicked up a notch and was now beating at an un-humanly beat.

Alex looked up and nearly laughed out loud at Olivia's expression. "Oh come on! Olivia, you're a detective for god sakes! Don't tell me you've never noticed?" Olivia moved to stand a few feet in front of her friend.

Shaking her head, Olivia threw her hands up. "Noticed what?"

_She really has no idea._ Alex patted the seat beside her and moved to give Olivia room. Biting her lower lip, Alex wondered how she was going to say it. She fiddled wit her fingers as Olivia grew impatient.

"Would you just spill it? You drive me more nuts then Keko! Which is impossible to do!" Alex smiled at Olivia's use of her friend's family nickname. Olivia had once told her how Kekoa cringed at the nickname as a teen. But as they both grew, Kekoa had gotten used to it, especially since Liv had begun using it.

"You're a smart woman, Liv. I'm not going to spell it out for you. This is something you should discuss with Kekoa. She deserves that much from you…" Alex reached out and lovingly squeezed Olivia's hand.

"Ugh! You're worse then Keko!" Alex laughed as did Olivia then they grew serious.

"Are you sure this is what you really want? And I'm not talking about the relationship. Because there's no turning back…" Alex asked gently. Olivia understood what she meant.

Olivia was quiet. This was a decision she couldn't answer on an impulse. Alex understood Liv's silence.

"Olivia, the easiest way to get through this is to be honest with yourself. Regardless of your decision, you need to be honest. You deserve that much." Seeing her friend at a cross roads, Alex threw an arm around her and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Tell you what. One of these days, when we're both not busy, I'll take you out to this bar I go to…"

Groaning, Olivia covered her face. " _Alex_ …"

"Now hear me out, Liv. You can see if you're comfortable enough with that many women around you. And don't worry; I'll be there with you…that's if I get picked up by some hot chic…" Alex finished with a smirk. Olivia just rolled her eyes and laughed.

Taking a breath Olivia nodded slowly. "I'll try. I won't promise anything, but I'll try…"

"Good girl! Now, I'll drive you home like the good lesbian friend that I am…" They laughed as they got up and got their jackets.

The drive was short considering Alex lived 40 minutes away. Alex got out and met Olivia on the other side of the car. She held her hands out and Liv was glad for the embrace. Stepping back, Alex smiled gently at her.

"Everything will be alright. No matter what, it'll be alright."

"Thanks…" Olivia dug in her pocket for her keys.

"And if it doesn't work out between you two, I'm here…" Alex said with a playful wink. Olivia laughed out loud.

"And _thank you_ for that. Goodnight Alex. I'll give you a call some time this week and let you know when I'll be free…"

"You do that detective…" Alex waited until Olivia was inside before she turned and got into her car and drove off.

* * *

Olivia unlocked her door and reached for the light switch but froze when a voice out of no where made her reach for her gun.

"Where you've been?" The lamp in the living room clicked on flooding Olivia's apartment with warm light. Keko got up from the couch she'd been lying on. Olivia's heart stopped as she just stared at the object of her dreams rub her sleepy eyes. Kekoa's hair was standing up at all ends and Olivia found it utterly cute but so damn sexy.

Licking her dry lips, Olivia cleared her throat. "What are you doing here?" She squeaked out. She moved farther into the apartment, dropping her keys onto the table. She took off her jacket and threw it over the back of the couch.

Kekoa was watching her intently. "I'm crashing here for the night. I answered your question now answer mine. Where've you been?" She scowled as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Signing, Olivia knew all too well what this type of mood meant.

Olivia went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. "You're drunk…" she said as she opened the bottle and handed it over to Keko, "drink." She ordered. Keko took it and took a sip then stared pointedly at Liv.

"Uh, I don't think so sweetheart. If you drank your beer the way you drink your water you wouldn't be in this mess…" Olivia placed a hand on her hip as she leaned against the kitchen counter and waited.

Growling, Kekoa saw that she wasn't going to get anything from Olivia until she drank up. She held up the bottle then guzzled the water down in seconds. Keko slammed it down on the counter and wiped off the remnants on the back of her hand.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Keko stood and glared at Liv. "Where've you been?" Olivia didn't know whether to laugh at how damn cute Keko was or smack her silly for being so damn stubborn.

Rolling her eyes, Olivia handed Keko a napkin then proceeded to head for the bedroom. Keko followed close behind. Realizing this, Olivia turned around and looked at her friend as if she had grown horns in her head.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Liv demanded wearily.

"What the hell does it look like? I'm going to bed…right after you tell me where you were." Sighing, Olivia threw her hands up in frustration.

"I went to see Alex. There, you happy?"

"To be honest, no I'm not…," Keko said quietly. Olivia spun around and stared at her friend. Keko's back was facing Olivia as she peeled off her shirt and jeans leaving her in just a white tank top and boxers.

The site made Olivia's knees weak. Clearing her throat, Olivia swallowed the lump that had formed as she watched Keko undress. Then Kekoa turned around just then and caught Liv staring.

"What? It's not like you haven't seen it before…" she bent down to pick up her discard cloths and took them to the nearest chair.

Olivia was at a loss for any intelligent conversation so she just opted for, "nice boxers." Keko raised an eye brow then threw her shirt at her which Olivia caught with her face. Catching it before it fell, Liv folded the shirt and handed it back to Keko.

Olivia turned around and got ready for bed. Keko tried hard not to look but every once in a while she'd steal a peek now and then. Her heart raced as she watched Olivia take off her shirt and tossed it into the hamper. Her eyes widened as she realized that Olivia had started unbuttoning her pants.

Eyes widening, Keko quickly averted her eyes just as Olivia turned around; Keko busied herself with making up the bed. Kekoa's hands were shaking so much that she accidentally knocked over Olivia's alarm clock with a loud crash.

"Sor…sorry…," Kekoa stuttered and quickly picked it up. Olivia was already beside her climbing in then lifting the covers for Kekoa to slip under.

Gingerly getting into bed, trying to avoid touching Olivia's bare skin, Keko did her best to get comfortable. She vaguely heard Olivia's husky chuckle as she threw an arm around Kekoa's waist. Closing her eyes briefly, Keko had to remind herself to breath.

Olivia snuggled closer causing Liv's breast to inadvertently rub against Keko's arm, not realizing the effect it was having on her. Olivia rested her head in the little crook between Keko's neck and shoulder, lovingly nuzzling the sensitive area.

Keko lay there, unmoving. "Honey, relax. You stiff as a board…" Olivia said softly. Her warm breath on Keko's neck nearly made her moan out loud.

"Sorry…rough day…" was all Kekoa could say.

Olivia gently caressed Kekoa's arm and felt her relax. When her hand reached Keko's, Liv laced her fingers with hers and gave it a loving squeeze. "I heard about that. Did you want to talk about it?" Liv asked gently.

She knew, first hand, what it was like to witness someone shooting themselves in the head. She knew about the nightmares that followed, and the sleepless nights. But she had Kekoa to keep her a float when she thought she was going to drown from it all.

Keko took a breath. "What's there to talk about? She shot…" Keko's voice broke and Olivia snuggled closer. "She shot herself…she just…" shaking her head, Kekoa couldn't understand it and she closed her eyes.

Olivia just held on to her. It was all she could do knowing that Kekoa had to be the one to fight the nightmares that came. "Maybe you should talk to someone…" Olivia suggested not sure how her friend would react. She watched Kekoa stared at the ceiling for what seemed to be a lifetime.

Kekoa sighed then turned onto her side face Olivia. She wrapped an arm around her waist and drew her close. She looked so exhausted but she smiled gently. "I am. I'm talking to you," she said softly. Reaching out, Kekoa brushed the hair that fell over Olivia's eyes then lovingly tucked it behind her ear. Olivia smiled and closed her eyes at the wonderful sensations Keko's fingers were doing to her. Olivia smiled and rested a tender hand on Kekoa's cheek and laughed softly.

"I meant someone a little more trained then me…" Keko thought about it for a moment then shrugged.

"What's the point? It's not going to bring her back…" Olivia just stared at her with love and concern.

"But it'll help stop the nightmares from coming…" Olivia spoke quietly. She never wanted anything more then to erase the day's events from Kekoa's memory. She knew how the guilt would eat at her friend and how the nightmares would continue until she couldn't take it anymore.

"I should've tried harder, Liv. I should've tried…" tears were flowing from Kekoa's eyes. In hindsight, there was nothing she could have done. Kekoa hated crying in front of Olivia so she buried her face into the pillow as Olivia held her gently.

Olivia felt her own tears falling and placed a tender kiss on Keko's bare shoulder and spoke soothing words quietly, "It's alright baby…it's alright. I'm here…shhh…I'm right here…."

When the tears finally subsided, Keko lifted her head and gave Olivia a shy smile.

"Thanks…" she said a little embarrassed. Olivia just smiled wildly through her tears and kissed Kekoa's forehead.

"Don't mention it. Are you going to take a few days off?" Kekoa shook her head. " _Keko_ …" Liv said warningly. Sighing, Keko just shrugged her shoulders.

"What am I going to do with a few days off? If I stay home, I'll keep thinking about it…there's really no point…"

"Then stay here…"

"And what exactly am I supposed to do here that I can't do at home?" Sighing in frustration, Olivia rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling.

"God, you're stubborn. You know that Captain Rosco will just kick you out of the building and order you to stay home…"

"How do you know the Captain?" Kekoa asked out of the blue. Olivia just raised a delicate eyebrow.

"He's always at some of the functions they hold every year. You know the ones you never go to. "

"Oh…" was all Keko could say. She never knew Liv went to those things. Olivia rolled her eyes turned back onto her side facing Kekoa.

She slipped a hand into Keko's shaggy hair and smiled tenderly when she heard Keko's satisfied sigh. "Look, stay here for a day or two. Keep me company…," Liv asked quietly. Kekoa seemed to consider this. It was so hard to say no when Olivia was so close.

"Ok, Ok…I'll stay a few days. Just don't hog the covers," Keko said with a smirk. Olivia playfully swatted Keko's behind and laughed. She turned over with her back to Kekoa and got comfortable.

Olivia felt Kekoa slip both arms around her and she smiled, feeling giddy. Olivia always knew if Kekoa was going to be alright by the way Keko held her. When Keko had one arm around her waist, it meant it would take longer for her to get out of a rut. But when she slipped both arms around Olivia's waist, Liv knew everything was going to be just fine.

Olivia loved having both of Keko's arms around her, especially when she slept. It was so warm there and she snuggled closer. Keko drew Olivia to her and she heard Liv sigh and it made her smile.

Kissing Olivia's bare shoulder, Kekoa nuzzled her neck. "Goodnight Makame…," she said sleepily. Olivia placed her hands over Keko's which were resting on her stomach and she lovingly caressed them.

"Night, Kekoa…." Olivia was almost out of it when Kekoa asked right before she drifted off to sleep.

"What did you guys talk about?"

Smiling, Olivia threw a hand up, "Go to sleep!" She heard Kekoa's husky quiet laughter.

"Kay…"

The two drifted to sleep, wrapped tightly in each other's arms.

* * *

At some point during the night, they had switch positions. Olivia was now on her side facing Kekoa while Kekoa was on her stomach, her head resting on Liv's pillow her hair all over the place. She still had a possessive arm around Olivia's waist.

Olivia's eyes fluttered open at 4 am in the morning. The sight before her took her breath away. The moon light hit Kekoa's face at just the perfect angle to capture her beauty. Olivia reached out tentatively not wanting to wake her up.

Soft finger tips traced Kekoa's cheek bones then slowly moved down to her jaw line. They stopped at Keko's chin. Liv's fingers moved upwards to Keko's lips. Olivia lightly ran her thumb over Keko's bottom lip then moved to her upper lip then did it all over again.

Kekoa inhaled sharply causing Olivia to pull her hand back quickly just as Keko's eyes fluttered open. Keko licked her lips and gave Olivia a lopsided sleepy grin. Olivia had an uncontrollable urge to kiss Kekoa and almost reached out but instead, rested her hand on Keko's shoulder.

"Hey," Kekoa whispered drowsily. "You 'kay?" she asked struggling to keep her eyes opened. Olivia smiled softly and nodded. "'kay…go seep now…," Kekoa ordered drowsily as she feel back to sleep. Liv smiled tenderly as she watched Kekoa sleep.

Unfortunately, Olivia couldn't just fall back to sleep that easily. Her body was buzzing at the close proximity between the two of them. Liv tenderly placed a kiss on Kekoa's forehead, then her nose. She moved down to her lips and hovered there, afraid. Ever so gently, Olivia lightly placed a lingering kiss on Kekoa's lips.

Kekoa sighed and there was a ghost of a smile on her face. She nuzzled Olivia's chin and sighed contentedly as she got more comfortable on Olivia's pillow, but never once waking up.

' _Olivia, anyone with half a brain can see she's feeling the same way about you…'_ Alex's words played in Olivia's head.

Eventually as the seconds ticked by, Olivia felt her eyes grow heavy. Slipping an arm under Kekoa's arms, Liv drew her even closer before causing Kekoa's thigh to slip in between Liv's legs. Olivia's breathing quickened as she felt the muscles flex in Kekoa's thigh. _Keep breathing, Liv…just keep breathing..._

It was obvious that Kekoa was beyond unconsciousness and was unaware of what she was doing. Olivia just concentrated on sleeping again, although that was harder then it looked but eventually, her eyes slid closed.

They two women held each other tightly as they slept. The outside world would have to wait another day.

* * *

6 am came way too quickly for Olivia. The alarm clock was blaring and she reached out and hit the snooze button a little too hard. She reached over for the warm body next to her but came up empty.

She dug her head from out under the pillow only to find that Kekoa wasn't there. She felt a pang of sadness for a moment but she felt herself being watched. She turned her head around and saw Kekoa leaning against the door frame fully dressed and held a mug to her mouth. She had that lopsided grin from last night as she spoke.

"Morning sleepy head…" Kekoa said huskily. Olivia pushed the hair from her eyes and smiled back.

"Hey. Why didn't you wake me?" Liv asked a little disappointed that she didn't get to wake up in Kekoa's arms.

Kekoa had watched Olivia sleep for a few minutes before she had gotten up. She watched the play of emotions on Olivia's face and she wondered what they could mean. The thought of Liv missing her made Keko warm inside.

Smiling gently, she went further into the room. She held out the mug for Olivia as she carefully sat on the bed. Olivia quickly sat up and took the warm cup into her hands and took a sip.

Moaning, Olivia closed her eyes as the hot tea went through her. "Thank you. I needed that…" she said as she licked her lips. She opened her eyes to find Keko staring at her strangely. "What?"

"Uh…nothing…," Kekoa muttered, already blushing. Clearing her throat, Kekoa took the mug from Olivia and placed it on the night stand and got up. "Ok detective, it's time to hit the showers."

Groaning, Olivia flopped back to bed and threw an arm over her eyes. Kekoa got up and stood by the bed with her hands on her hips. "Detective, don't make me get all SWAT on your ass…" Olivia just threw the covers over her head.

" _Alright_ …I gave you fair warning…" grabbing the edges of the blanket, Kekoa ripped it off an unsuspecting Olivia. Kekao laughed out loud and scooped Liv up in her arms.

Olivia shrieked with surprise. "KEKOA! You're back!" Olivia just wrapped her arms around her friend's neck and smiled. Keko just laughed.

"Sweetie, you're forgetting that I'm SWAT. Besides, you're too skinny. I've got to put some meat on those bones of yours…" she said teasingly as she carried Olivia to the bathroom.

"Did you just call me skinny?"

"Yes ma'am I did…Skinny…," Kekoa put her down and Olivia gave a playful swat to the arm. "Hey now…you behave. Or else you won't be getting any breakfast. Go on…get in that shower. You're starting to smell a little ripe…," Kekoa laughed and ducked quickly as Liv threw her face towel at her.

* * *

After breakfast they had made plans to meet up for lunch. Too bad the rest of Olivia's day didn't get any better.

She stood there, completely in shock after what ADA Greylek had just said about Casey. Stepping forward to give her a piece of her mind, Elliot stopped her. Liv glanced at him and he shook his head slightly.

Yanking her arm from Elliot, Olivia stalked back to her chair.

Kim just stared at her then stormed off. Elliot just stared at his partner, "You alright?" he asked softly.

"I was before she showed up…God! I can't stand her…" Liv exclaimed as she threw her pen down in frustration. Elliot just chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Olivia demanded. He shrugged.

"I remember you said the same thing about Cabot and Novak…"

"Yeah…well they were different. Something about Greylek just…I don't know…something's not right…like she's hiding something…"

"We just need to give her some time…," Elliot said diplomatically.

Olivia eyed her partner a little suspiciously. "Since when did you get so…"

"Don't even say it…," he warned.

"…soft?" Elliot looked up and glared at Liv who just shrugged innocently.

"Write your damn report…," Elliot grumbled. Liv laughed and did as she was told. She was starting to feel a little better already.

* * *

It was nearing lunch time and Kekoa hadn't called and Liv was getting a little anxious.

"Need to be some place?" Elliot asked. He had been watching Olivia fiddle with various things on her desk. It was starting to get on his nerves.

Olivia looked up for the 100th time at her oversized watch that Kekoa bought for her one Christmas.

"Sorry. I was expecting Keko to call…," she explained a little disappointed. Elliot smiled softly at her then glanced at the door behind Olivia and smirked.

"Maybe that's because she's already here," he said with a bright smile. He nodded a hello to Kekoa as she sauntered in. "Sorry, buddy. I couldn't leave my partner hanging like that." Elliot stood and grabbed and shook Keko's hand.

Laughing quietly, Kekoa watched Olivia's eyes widen then turn bright as she smiled widely up at her. "No problem man," she said kindly. She turned to Liv and smiled tenderly. "Hey."

Unable to stop herself, Olivia smiled goofily. "Hey yourself. What are you doing here? I thought we were going to meet at the restaurant?" She was pleasantly surprised to see her friend here.

Shrugging, Kekoa slid her hands into her jeans. "I was in the neighbourhood and thought I'd pop in. But if you want me to go…," she said teasingly and turned to leave. Olivia quickly grabbed her arm and gently pulled her back to her desk.

"Don't go. I'm glad you're here...," Liv said shyly.

Elliot cleared his throat and pretended to be working. Keko got the hint and held out her hand. "You ready?" Nodding eagerly, Olivia grabbed her jacket, which Kekoa took and held open for her.

"I'll be gone about an hour or so…," she instructed Elliot how just nodded.

"Alright! Let's get the hell outta here!" Olivia laughed feeling a little like a teenage girl again.

They walked hand in hand out of the building and headed for the restaurant. It was turning out to be a really good day…

* * *

"I wanted to hit her so badly!" Olivia sat there, recounting the day with their new ADA. Kekoa sat, listening all the while smiling uncontrollably. Olivia Benson, when pissed off, is a sight to see. But when she was flustered and frustrated…she was irresistibly adorable.

"What?" What are you smiling about?" Liv demanded. Couldn't Keko see that she was upset? Holding up a hand in surrender, Kekoa just laughed softly.

"I'm sorry…really I am…," she said and placed both hands over her chest but she just couldn't stop laughing. Olivia just glared.

"Then what the hell is so funny then?"

"You!" Kekoa couldn't fight it anymore, she burst out laughing.

"Me? What the hell for!" Olivia just didn't understand.

Wiping her eyes, Keko finally got herself under control…for now. Clearing her throat, she smiled warmly at Liv.

"Now don't take this the wrong way, but I remember having a similar conversation about Alex and Casey…." Olivia huffed, but couldn't hide her smile.

"I don't know…something seems a bit off about her, is all…"

"Why not giver her a little more time. Some people are good at some things and others…not so much…"

"I guess you're right. Although her people skills need work…," the two laughed at that. "So…what are we doing Friday night?" Olivia asked innocently. They had a weekly ritual of just hanging out on Friday nights since they were in the academy. Sorta like a date night…except with out the 'date' part.

"Well…uh…"

"Oh give me a break…," Olivia muttered. At first, Kekoa thought it was her but Olivia had been looking past her to someone else.

"Detective, I spoke with a judge that owed me a favour. Thought I should let you know that you and Elliot can start you're search of Harrison's apartment…"

Kekoa recognized that voice. Obviously, Kim Greylek hadn't seen her. "Don't you have some pep rally to go to, Cheerleader?" Keko said with a smirk. Olivia and Kim both looked at her. Olivia had a look that was unreadable while Kim smiled brightly when she saw who it was.

"Kim, this is my friend…," Olivia started the introductions but was cut off by the pesky ADA.

"We've actually met…," she said to Olivia then turned and faced Keko, "Hey. What are you doing here?"

Olivia crossed her arms over her chest and silently kept her inner musings to herself. She was barely paying attention when she nearly missed the last bit of conversation.

"We still on for Friday?" Kim asked as she flirted shamelessly with Kekoa. Olivia internally rolled her eyes as she silently fumed.

Kekoa was watching Olivia with a worried look. "Umm…yeah…. How about I call you and let you know," she said slowly, never taking her eyes off of Liv. Kim barley noticed and took out her business card.

"Great. My cell number is on the back…can't wait to hear from you." Turning to Olivia, Kim nodded her goodbye and left.

Kekoa watched her go then turned around and looked at Olivia. "Are you alright?"

Ignoring the question, Olivia dived in with the obvious. "So what's happening on Friday?" she said as sweetly as she could. Sighing, Kekoa knew she was in deeper shit then she realized.

"Yeah…about that, Liv…"

"You don't have to explain. You have a date Friday night. Big deal…"

Closing her eyes, Kekoa was hoping to avoid trouble but she was wrong. "Olivia it's not a date…"

"Oh…that's why she was about to jump your bones just now? That's just her way of saying hello, right?" Olivia spat out sarcastically. She was trying hard not to be petty and jealous but it was so damn hard not to.

"What are you talking about Liv? It's just drinks. She's the one that invited me!" Kekoa got a bit defensive.

Rolling her eyes, Olivia sighed loudly. "Does she know that?"

Kekoa held her hands up. "Look, we are going out for drinks. That's all. If she thinks it's more then she'll be sadly mistaken. I just met her yesterday…," once the words were out, Kekoa regretted them instantly.

Olivia looked like she had been sucker punched in the gut. "You met her yesterday? And now you're going on a date?"

"Liv…it's not a _date_. It's just drinks…that's all…"

"It's fine. Let's just order, ok?" Olivia said softly. Inside, she was in shambles. _Well Alex, it looks like you're wrong…_

Kekoa sat there feeling guilty. Olivia was hiding her face behind the menu. She didn't know what to do.

"I'll cancel it. Friday's were our thing. I don't know why I even said yes…," Keko rambled on as she took out her cell and picked up the card. She flipped it open and begun dialling. Olivia looked up with wide eyes.

She reached out quickly and grabbed the phone before Kekoa could put it her ear. She slammed the phone shut and slammed it down onto the table.

"What are you doing?" Kekoa asked, slightly confused.

"Just forget it, alright? If you're gonna go, then just go. No biggie…," Olivia said. She forced a smile to her face that didn't reach her eyes. Keko knew other wise.

"Look, if you don't want me to go…"

"I said forget about it. Let's just order…I'm starving." Once again, Olivia picked up the menu and proceeded to look at it thoroughly. Keko was pretty sure Olivia had that menu memorized by now but she wasn't going to say anything. Obediently, Keko picked up her own menu and stared at the selection of food.

She wasn't hungry anymore, not when she knew Liv was upset with her. Kekoa wanted to fix it but she knew Olivia would chew her ass out if she tried. Sighing, Keko did nothing but order something she probably wasn't going to finish.

* * *

Olivia was quiet and barely spoke two words to her throughout their lunch. Even the drive back to the precinct was strained.

They stopped in front of the 1-6. Olivia was getting ready to get out of the car when Kekoa stopped her.

"I won't go if you don't want me to…," she said softly. Keko placed a gentle hand on Olivia's. Liv stared at her for a second and gave her a sad smile.

"I know. But I…I want you to," Liv said sadly. She leaned over and gave kekoa a soft kiss to her cheek. Kekoa almost cried when Olivia slipped her hand from hers and reached for the door.

"Be safe," Kekoa said quickly before Olivia shut the door. Liv bent down slightly and smiled gently at her.

"You too." And with that, Olivia was gone. Kekoa watched Olivia walking away from her and she felt herself shatter completely inside. Taking a deep breath and wiping away the tears that fell from her eyes, Kekoa cleared her throat and started the engine.

Kekoa had never felt more useless and alone then she did that moment.


End file.
